Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
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Top comments
Tweekz14 5
So I'm guessing you swallow?
nofearjenshere 12
It's a sin not to swallow, there are people starving in Africa.
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Comments (322)
psych10 4
What's your number?
jellybeardoggie 4
I'd love a pink *****
laden_swallow09 34
Fellatio: you're doing it wrong.
22JB 11
Well atleast your trying to work on it, but just ask what it is your doing wrong might be the way to go for help. Unless ur doing it just cause.
born_hustla 26
I like your dedication.- your bf is lucky!!
itzia 7
Next time, simply ask him to coach you as you give HIM head. Bananas get mushy!
Awsumuzzie 12
Still hot of op to do. Not that I know of any fetish of that sort...
LaughinStock 16
Damn Noor you got yourself a fan base, now that you have all of that you need your own lyrics. Thats what you say to people who talk shit to you Noor: Look who i attract, look at my inner circle Bunch of street niggas, and a couple Erkles Look at my fanbase! Oh yess! **** what Pro say! Look at this protest!
cat0720 9
That guy is such a douche! You're trying to help him and be nice to him and he complains? Anyway he should just coach you or something. Next time he complains tell him you don't like doing it but you're doing it for him. Tell him you're trying to help him and ask him to help you. For all those anti-women guys out there, this isn't a negative comment. I'm trying to be helpful and I think she should deal with this problem head on. Pun not intended. (It actually wasn't.) Good luck OP!
TheBonzaiGirl 0
I didn't expect to see Ms. Chokesondick here.... ;)