Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
Tweekz14 5
So I'm guessing you swallow?
nofearjenshere 12
It's a sin not to swallow, there are people starving in Africa.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (322)
Ima_NeRD6213 4
Banana +10xp x Daily dose of potassium +5xp Next level: Zucchini
oneleggedbeauty 0
Whatta Sucky situation
zues70 4
You suck...but not good at it...but at least you suck...
greenmen 12
Wish had girl friend like that so devoted!! Cheers Mate
magnetoo 4
Why is "you deserved it" winning 4 to 1? The non-joke comments are mostly supportive - do that many people still secretly believe that nice girls don't do it and deserve to be punished for having sex? Ignore the haters, potassiumgirl.
rightspark 7
Your awesome for trying to please him right
badbitchesonly 2
You're doing it wrong.
eyecon502 13
Power to the OP for trying. Shame on the school system for not teaching.
xxdark 3
Using a condom protected banana to practice is fine, but having the skin peeled is actually really dangerous. You're basically pushing a whole object down your throat that breaks incredibly easily. LOLL. So even if you succeed, you're going to end up with a banana obstructing your only means of gaining air into your lungs. Besides, an erect penis is hard, not soft. I don't see why people try this again and again! If you're going to practice, do it properly! And also use a bit of brains behind your choices. just had to say it. You can kill yourself doing that, and what a last legacy that would be to leave!
kingghidorah 10
That was incredibly detailed/well thought out.
faireanjell 5
Never inhale! Lol