Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML
Today, I saw someone drive recklessly as if they were drunk. When I called the cops, I got pulled over by another cop for talking on my cell phone. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML
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Top comments
c0w 0
Just because you're calling 911 on your cell doesn't mean you're exempt from doing something incredibly dangerous. Next time, pull over to the side of the road, call 911, and keep other people out of danger.
Lauriebug 0
Haha. Oh Karma, thou art a heartless bitch.
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Comments (102)
mia9 0
iiiiiironeeeee!
andelizastrin 0
#1, I may be wrong, but was that a slightly modified Big Bang Theory reference? If not, forget I asked :) As for the FML... I guess I personally don't see it as a YDI. She was trying to report a possible drunk driver, and it went awry. Stuff happens. She probably should have just let the phone go though.
PsychoX 0
Omg. #1 isn't that damn hard to understand. "Oh Karma" is a direct reference to Karma. The religious idea largely from India. The following element "thou art a heartless bitch" refers back to KARMA. Not the OP. (if you missed it, thou art = you are). If you didn't understand that, you should really avoid posting anything on teh interwebz. Anyway, OP, YDI for calling the police about a misbehaving driver and expecting them to do something. I've seen police swerve across three lanes with no warning and no turn signal without their lights or sirens (or any other indication or warning) from traffic moving at 55 MPH to a turn lane at a standstill for no good reason at all.
Whitenight_fml 0
I love Irony. the only thing that would have made this funnier is if you were drunk
Lauriebug 0
Thank you very much #35 :) I guess nobody looks at commas anymore and #34- HECK YES! points for watching big bang theory (even if you kinda called me out, bitch) !
andelizastrin 0
#37- Haha, sorry about calling you out, but I just had to know :)
vandy123 0
Here's why women shouldn't be allowed to drive folks. Both for calling the police over some guy and being a completely horrible driver.
nastynate 0
Lmao, #6 and #39 no one ever said anything about a girl and the OP's name is driverman
McLaughlane 0
#32...I'm well aware that talking on your cell phone is illegal in California, I live there :P And yes, that is what bluetooth is for, but obviously the OP didn't have one, which is why I said they should have pulled over.
sarahd95 0
People, a no matter if the dude was drunk or couldn't drive, he still is dangerous ;).