Kids: Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the...

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 05:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 773

You deserved it 6 523

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By queen_lol - 10/05/2016 17:14 - United States

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 511

You deserved it 2 180

Misbehaving

By anonymous - 05/02/2013 05:22 - United States - Hampton

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 397

You deserved it 3 226

By embarassed - 20/03/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 018

You deserved it 10 499

By nobabies - 10/12/2017 01:30

Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 262

You deserved it 478

By kate - 29/04/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 791

You deserved it 8 558

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 934

You deserved it 1 767

Sights, sounds, smells

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 12:00

Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 158

Blast from the past

By how old am I? - 07/05/2022 06:00

Today, I was hosting a small party for my nephews and a couple neighborhood kids. I unexpectedly started my period while I was serving the snacks. Have you ever been pointed and laughed at by a bunch of 12 year-olds? Ah, just like the good old days… FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 116

Cropduster

By Sodge - 15/05/2009 10:20 - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 407

You deserved it 45 238

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 050

You deserved it 6 139

rattusrattus 18

Monday 4 February 2013 12:08

Trust me, you were only saying what everyone else was thinking.

DocBastard 38

Monday 4 February 2013 13:09

The difference between a good kid and a bad kid is a good parent who isn't afraid to say "no".

Comments

ulissey_fml 22

Monday 4 February 2013 17:49

So you were not Bowled over by the good news, then?

cpt0bvious 2

Monday 4 February 2013 18:02

I wouldn't feel bad about this. There's already too many people in this world. And like someone else already pointed out - you said what everyone else was thinking.

Bluepies 24

Monday 4 February 2013 19:47

There needs to be a "She deserved it" button.

Charleigh 3

Monday 4 February 2013 20:04

Laugh it off, call the kids adorable and leave as quick as you can.

buckdharma 36

Monday 4 February 2013 20:13

You must be a 49er's fan op. If you had been a Ravens fan you would've known that no weapon formed against us shall prosper.(not even apple sauce!)

startrekker 3

Tuesday 5 February 2013 0:54

You never mentioned how old the kid was? Toddlers and babies throw stuff all the time. If the kid was older it would be unacceptable. Btw, I thought I was the biggest know it all when it came to raising kids before I had my own kids.

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 5 February 2013 3:20

Kids are a blank slate and need to be taught manners, responsibility and etiquette...etc If the kid is an asshole, its the parents' fault.

ohjoy15 33

Tuesday 5 February 2013 3:47

If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. No matter how frustrated you were, you didn't have to comment OP. Self control. It was just another bratty kid who threw applesauce at you. You could have later told the mother to discipline their child in private. I'm sure she would have given consequences for what her little son/daughter/hermaphrodite did to you. You didn't have to insult her in front of everyone, because that only made you look bad and nobody else. Sorry for your jeans OP.