Kids: Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the...

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 05:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 773

You deserved it 6 523

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Same thing different taste

By queen_lol - 10/05/2016 17:14 - United States

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 511

You deserved it 2 180

Misbehaving

By anonymous - 05/02/2013 05:22 - United States - Hampton

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 397

You deserved it 3 226

By embarassed - 20/03/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 018

You deserved it 10 499

By nobabies - 10/12/2017 01:30

Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 262

You deserved it 478

By kate - 29/04/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 791

You deserved it 8 558

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 934

You deserved it 1 767

Sights, sounds, smells

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 12:00

Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 158

Blast from the past

By how old am I? - 07/05/2022 06:00

Today, I was hosting a small party for my nephews and a couple neighborhood kids. I unexpectedly started my period while I was serving the snacks. Have you ever been pointed and laughed at by a bunch of 12 year-olds? Ah, just like the good old days… FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 116

Cropduster

By Sodge - 15/05/2009 10:20 - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 407

You deserved it 45 238

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 050

You deserved it 6 139

rattusrattus 18

Monday 4 February 2013 12:08

Trust me, you were only saying what everyone else was thinking.

DocBastard 38

Monday 4 February 2013 13:09

The difference between a good kid and a bad kid is a good parent who isn't afraid to say "no".

Comments

happle 21

Monday 4 February 2013 14:43

6- If they're brats, it's the parent's job to teach them otherwise.

DumbingOfAmerica 9

Monday 4 February 2013 14:51

Unless you're a child, you really can not be "dragged" to a superbowl party. If you didn't want to go, then you shouldn't have gone. Grow up and get a pair.

BeepBeepSwerve 9

Tuesday 5 February 2013 4:47

you should change your username to "dumbingmyself"

TameGeek 21

Monday 4 February 2013 14:54

Where's the "She deserved it" link when you need it the most? :)

slingo234 12

Monday 4 February 2013 15:21

Best response ever send them cleaning bill

poccocurantes 7

Monday 4 February 2013 15:24

lighten up OP. I saw the same superbowl. My friend has twins in their terrible twos and twins in the way. The difference is I understand kids have accidents and throw tantrums and need attention. Your friends are now at the age they are having kids so deal with it. You may even want some of your own.

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Monday 4 February 2013 18:03

One should not just ALLOW their children to throw applesauce. That should have been stopped once the first cup hit the ground. The parents failed in this scenerio by allowing the child to throw not just one but three cups of applesauce.

marcranger 28

Monday 4 February 2013 18:46

I dunno, I find spending time around small fry to be very effective birth control. Especially when the parents seem as incapable of discipline as OP's (former?) friends.

calivianya 29

Monday 4 February 2013 18:53

I totally disagree that OP should just have to "deal with it." In what universe is a Superbowl party a kid-friendly event? The parents should have hired a babysitter or foisted the kid off on the neighbors if they planned on hosting an adult party. It was rude of them to even have the child there, let alone let the child throw food at their guests.

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 4 February 2013 20:29

You know what? The kid throwing one cup of applesauce is one thing, and the parents should have nipped it in the bud right then and there before the brat threw the second and third cups. And that the parents are pregnant with twins means they're going to have three little hellions running amuck. Heck, shouldn't the kids have been in BED by the third quarter blackout?

Satoaoi 13

Monday 4 February 2013 15:30

Pshhhhhht I would've said. same thing probably worse

Alleged_Cranium 7

Monday 4 February 2013 15:47

Everyone will have to put up with the brats. Too many go by the philosophy that "it takes a village" to raise a child. Maybe the village should have a vote on whether you should reproduce.

starw0lf 31

Monday 4 February 2013 16:10

It was probably fairly uncomfortable to sit around in those jeans even after trying to clean off the applesauce. There's only so much you can clean without taking them off. I doubt the thought of staining was a big deal.