Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML
Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I was having dinner with my husband and two toddlers. My two year-old son was being incredibly cute and independently drinking water out of an open cup. I commented on how much I loved him. Two seconds later, he threw said cup with water at my head and started laughing. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML
Today, I was hosting a small party for my nephews and a couple neighborhood kids. I unexpectedly started my period while I was serving the snacks. Have you ever been pointed and laughed at by a bunch of 12 year-olds? Ah, just like the good old days… FML
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Top comments
rattusrattus 18
Trust me, you were only saying what everyone else was thinking.
DocBastard 38
The difference between a good kid and a bad kid is a good parent who isn't afraid to say "no".
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Comments (97)
happle 21
6- If they're brats, it's the parent's job to teach them otherwise.
DumbingOfAmerica 9
Unless you're a child, you really can not be "dragged" to a superbowl party. If you didn't want to go, then you shouldn't have gone. Grow up and get a pair.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
you should change your username to "dumbingmyself"
TameGeek 21
Where's the "She deserved it" link when you need it the most? :)
slingo234 12
Best response ever send them cleaning bill
poccocurantes 7
lighten up OP. I saw the same superbowl. My friend has twins in their terrible twos and twins in the way. The difference is I understand kids have accidents and throw tantrums and need attention. Your friends are now at the age they are having kids so deal with it. You may even want some of your own.
ChibiChibi_fml 27
One should not just ALLOW their children to throw applesauce. That should have been stopped once the first cup hit the ground. The parents failed in this scenerio by allowing the child to throw not just one but three cups of applesauce.
marcranger 28
I dunno, I find spending time around small fry to be very effective birth control. Especially when the parents seem as incapable of discipline as OP's (former?) friends.
calivianya 29
I totally disagree that OP should just have to "deal with it." In what universe is a Superbowl party a kid-friendly event? The parents should have hired a babysitter or foisted the kid off on the neighbors if they planned on hosting an adult party. It was rude of them to even have the child there, let alone let the child throw food at their guests.
DanielleinDC 33
You know what? The kid throwing one cup of applesauce is one thing, and the parents should have nipped it in the bud right then and there before the brat threw the second and third cups. And that the parents are pregnant with twins means they're going to have three little hellions running amuck. Heck, shouldn't the kids have been in BED by the third quarter blackout?
Satoaoi 13
Pshhhhhht I would've said. same thing probably worse
Alleged_Cranium 7
Everyone will have to put up with the brats. Too many go by the philosophy that "it takes a village" to raise a child. Maybe the village should have a vote on whether you should reproduce.
starw0lf 31
It was probably fairly uncomfortable to sit around in those jeans even after trying to clean off the applesauce. There's only so much you can clean without taking them off. I doubt the thought of staining was a big deal.
Kingbreezy04 10
Don't worry once they kicked you out the lights went out. You didn't miss shit.
Geary519 20
the truth hurts lol