Today, after many attempts at getting my girlfriend to ride the...

By Anonymous - 6/2/2017 05:00 - United States - Houston

Today, after many attempts at getting my girlfriend to ride the bus to see me rather than taking Uber, she finally did. She ended up meeting a man who convinced her that she should break up with me. She listened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7205

You deserved it

1507

Favorite

Love

Transportation

Instadrama

Everyone's an expert

Innocent

By Soakedandbroke - 26/1/2016 17:05 - United States - Houston

Today, I was walking to class. While waiting at the crosswalk, a guy cat-called me from his car. I guess he was pissed that I didn't respond, because he purposely drove through a puddle and completely soaked me and the expensive textbook I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22827

You deserved it

1744

Favorite

By Bulldogs09 - 1/7/2009 04:41 - France

Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on aim, I noticed one of his friends away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said "I can't believe what I stick my d... In sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46625

You deserved it

12416

Favorite

By redheadmess - 20/7/2020 02:01

Pay up

Today, my grandfather sent me a bill from when I had to live with him in foster care. I apparently owe him 62k for shampoo, food, etc. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1843

You deserved it

Favorite

By Ringless - 25/2/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43150

You deserved it

3591

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/5/2009 15:11 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77538

You deserved it

7356

Favorite

By accidentalslut - 7/8/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

I agree, your life sucks

22031

You deserved it

56076

Favorite

By Username - 8/2/2011 16:57 - United States

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46759

You deserved it

15272

Favorite

By thathottchickk - 13/12/2011 22:43 - United States

Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30211

You deserved it

3675

Favorite

By Dxxk Biter - 20/2/2018 06:00

Today, the first guy I tried to have sex with at university got his foreskin stuck in his zip and had to go to hospital for stitches. He told all his friends I did it on purpose with my teeth during a blowjob. I now have a reputation, so I guess I'm staying single for the next 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6987

You deserved it

664

Favorite

By Ishowet - 31/5/2017 12:00 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2871

You deserved it

437

Favorite

By bluntedone - 3/2/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10997

You deserved it

51945

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/11/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years old and pop like an arthritic 50 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31484

You deserved it

3833

Favorite

By HughGorgy - 20/3/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

17313

You deserved it

102778

Favorite

By Drew - 26/4/2016 02:21 - United States - Newark

Today, at school, I wore a back brace because I have fractured vertebrae. During first period, a girl tapped me on the back to ask me a question. It made a "knocking on wood" sound. She looked at me like I was a freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13197

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1131

Favorite

By nsJ - 15/7/2009 16:02 - United States

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49977

You deserved it

3511

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/9/2011 15:12 - Canada

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that includes the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28291

You deserved it

2980

Favorite

By manderpander21 - 17/3/2015 00:56 - United States - Bronx

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30248

You deserved it

3585

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/8/2019 00:01

Is it slander or libel?

Today, I posted a review, on a strictly anonymous site, about a doctor I went to see for my anxiety but who actually made me worse. A while later, the same doctor called my home phone, addressed me by my full name and threatened to sue me for slander if I didn't take down the review. All of which was 100% true. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1925

You deserved it

150

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/9/2013 22:20 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42958

You deserved it

4031

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 16:38 - United States - Raleigh

Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26285

You deserved it

1544

Favorite

By mr_dinzaster - 30/5/2019 22:00

Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks

755

You deserved it

1701

Favorite

By anonymous - 5/1/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I was talking to a really cute guy. He leaned closer and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he leaned back, laughed and said, "Wow. You're growing a mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33687

You deserved it

7542

Favorite

By Firepants - 28/8/2010 16:04 - Canada

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

I agree, your life sucks

29390

You deserved it

4078

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/3/2014 18:16 - United Kingdom - New Malden

Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50693

You deserved it

4422

Favorite

By diorlove - 21/1/2010 22:17 - France

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27452

You deserved it

4904

Favorite

By Anonymous - 11/4/2012 21:41 - Canada - Orillia

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29484

You deserved it

2275

Favorite

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/8/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46866

You deserved it

3062

Favorite

By ihateveganism - 22/8/2012 04:19 - United States - Barrington

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41062

You deserved it

9891

Favorite

By again? - 15/3/2016 10:03 - United States - Olympia

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21249

You deserved it

2456

Favorite

By Anonymous Cunt - 24/11/2012 19:38 - Netherlands - Blaricum

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15917

You deserved it

17562

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/2/2012 12:46 - United States

Today, someone peed in my physical education locker. The only way someone could've done it is with a ladder. I'm so popular it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30428

You deserved it

5291

Favorite

By nick - 28/1/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20245

You deserved it

5339

Favorite

By why? - 1/5/2015 13:41 - United States

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32858

You deserved it

6376

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/10/2012 23:04 - United States

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40746

You deserved it

2794

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/6/2015 21:52 - United States - Tupelo

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26929

You deserved it

1787

Favorite

By Matt L. - 30/7/2020 14:02

Thanks, I hate it

Today, my car insurance called about "the car I hit" on Monday night. Monday, I'd gone to the girl I’ve been seeing for a month's house for chicken parm and to meet her parents. I parked on the street. Her dad ran into the back of my car, leaving a dent. I never got the chicken parm either. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1598

You deserved it

103

Favorite

By raynbowsend - 23/4/2009 05:22 - Malaysia

Today, I had an appraisal meeting with the Boss. She raved and gushed and told me what a great job I was doing. Then she said "Well done, Eric". Eric is not my name. She froze, opened a new file and told me my actual appraisal, which was the complete opposite of everything she had just said. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54150

You deserved it

6599

Favorite

By inveralaska - 16/6/2016 21:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11937

You deserved it

2321

Favorite

By I love L - 8/8/2015 22:56 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23487

You deserved it

5060

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/10/2019 06:02

It's the new thing!

Today, I fell asleep while at an outside birthday party in the sun for a five-year-old. That five-year-old put an animal cracker on my forehead. I now have a rhino-shaped tan line. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1309

You deserved it

960

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By inappropes | 31

#7404154 - Saturday 4 February 2017 5:16

If a random stranger could convince her she most likely was already thinking it.

By bulletsinthewind | 21

#7405530 - Monday 6 February 2017 13:07

Friend, if she could so easily be convinced by a total stranger, then perhaps are she shouldn't have been your girlfriend in the first place. But don't worry about it. Shit happens, and sometimes relationships come and go. Since I, myself, have had a few shitty relationships in the past, I can say there's always someone else out there.

COMMENTS

By inappropes | 31

#7404154 - Saturday 4 February 2017 5:16

If a random stranger could convince her she most likely was already thinking it.

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7405519 - Monday 6 February 2017 12:42

What I want to know is why her choice of transport mattered so much to you in the first place.

barleyguy | 17

#7405534 - Monday 6 February 2017 13:17

uber isn't a thing where i live but maybe its because as far as i know. anyone can be a driver for uber. went to the states for my honeymoon a few months back and me and my wife dared your bus system over uber. we got lost.

usnwife | 18

#7405573 - Monday 6 February 2017 14:38

Finances? If she had complained about the cost to come see him I could understand him trying to convince her to save money... Either way though, sounds like it was a very weak relationship

usnwife | 18

#7405574 - Monday 6 February 2017 14:38

Finances? If she had complained about the cost to come see him I could understand him trying to convince her to save money... Either way though, sounds like it was a very weak relationship

vicfirthfan | 11

#7405691 - Monday 6 February 2017 18:56

I mean public transport is probably way cheaper than uber

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7405523 - Monday 6 February 2017 12:46

What I want to know is why her choice of transport mattered so much to you in the first place.

GhostFox | 33

#7405526 - Monday 6 February 2017 12:51

OP was worried that their GF would be attacked, cheat, or that the scenario that happened in the post would happen.

davidl7 | 17

#7405811 - Monday 6 February 2017 23:33

Probably arbitrarily hates Uber now cuz of the Trump thing.

crownedcrazy | 14

#7405882 - Tuesday 7 February 2017 4:06

He was most likely just being considerate about her spending so much to come see him and wanted her to save some money.

By bulletsinthewind | 21

#7405530 - Monday 6 February 2017 13:07

By RichardPencil | 28

#7405637 - Monday 6 February 2017 16:53

Crazy people ride the bus.

I like to think I'm normal, but I do occasionally ride the bus.

By CastaP | 12

#7405675 - Monday 6 February 2017 18:24

You dodged a bullet, buddy!

By onceuponatime456 | 16

#7405685 - Monday 6 February 2017 18:45

It may hurt at the moment but you haven't lost anything. If that is all it took for her to break with you then she is not worth having.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7405819 - Monday 6 February 2017 23:49

Was he trying to get in her pants, or was he just stirring up shit?

By kenny111598 | 0

#7405831 - Tuesday 7 February 2017 0:39

Time to ride the bus and get back out there, who knows maybe you'll steal someone else's girl

By sambmjmdjj | 9

#7405938 - Tuesday 7 February 2017 8:01

She had to ride a bus to see you rather than you picking her up and taking her out? No wonder she is gone.

ColdCreasent | 17

#7405945 - Tuesday 7 February 2017 8:28

Not everyone is made of money or owns a car. And riding a bus is a standard part of everyone's life if they live in a city.

For the first few times with a girlfriend it would be nice to drive and pick them up, but when it's been a while it's sometimes better to have them come your way instead.