Love and Transportation: Today, after many attempts at getting my girlfriend to ride the...

By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, after many attempts at getting my girlfriend to ride the bus to see me rather than taking Uber, she finally did. She ended up meeting a man who convinced her that she should break up with me. She listened. FML

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Love

Transportation

Proactive

Doomed

This is fine

By thirddegreeburned - United States - Monroe

Today, I finally made the connection between people in my apartment building flushing their toilets, and my running shower water becoming scalding hot. This wouldn't be quite as bad if there weren't six floors to the building, with twenty units on each. FML

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By Umidknickname

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going away for the weekend to go clubbing with his mates. I would be fine with it, except the mates he's going with already tried to get him to cheat on me. FML

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By anonymous - Canada

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

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By Anonymous - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

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By thjeltz - Canada

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

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By jadalaheart - United States - Citrus Heights

Distant love

Today, for the first time in more than two years, a guy asked me out. Too bad he lives halfway around the world. FML

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By Username - United Kingdom

Today, at the age of 17, I had my first kiss with the girl I've liked for over a year. However, it was a stage kiss and the girl has made it clear that she finds me repulsive. FML

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By MeOhMy23 - 25/11/2020 07:59 - United States - Tazewell

The only one who could ever reach me…

Today, I went to have a vaginal ultrasound. The nurse walked me back and I got undressed. She said the tech doing the procedure would be right in. It was my preacher's son. FML

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By Noah

Today, a friend pointed out to me that I bear a striking resemblance to Anne Frank. I'm a 16-year-old guy, and I'm inclined to agree with him. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 20:01

Disappointed

Today, my phone received a text which rarely happens. While getting my phone, I stubbed my toe, just to see a message from a telemarketer. Now my toe hurts and I didn’t even want what they were selling. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

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By Super Confused - United States - Fremont

Today, I got my graded essay from my teacher. Earlier, he'd said that it was "too specific", and that I should change it to be "more general and debatable". Now that I've got it back, the first comments on the paper are, "Your thesis is too general, be more specific." FML

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By Anonymous

Sexless in Seattle

Today, it's become clear I might have married the only man on the planet who doesn't care about sex. FML

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1855

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By dan - Reserved

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

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By Dudeman5000 - France

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

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By RatFailure - United States

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

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By Shamu - United States

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

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By christous - France

Today, I should have given my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by and now I'm on my own. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Barry

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

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By 00bsg - United States - Salem

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

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By Kaganate - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the wooden edge of my coffee table watching my sister's boyfriend play Halo 2, when I leaned back to stretch and shattered the center pane of glass in the table. I now have a large gash in my ass. FML

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9532

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By Mj - Canada - Windsor

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

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By Anonymous - Germany - Berlin

Today, my father-in-law left my wedding reception because he had to feed the dog. This would have been alright, if he hadn't been absent for nearly two hours. Apparently, just feeding the dog and leaving would have hurt the animal's feelings so he stayed to play with him for a while. FML

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By Masey - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/1/2021 23:01

Eggs

Today, while eating breakfast with my family, I asked my mother if there was any more scrambled eggs in the skillet because I really felt like having some more. She got mad at me because she thought I'd asked in a sarcastic manner. I wasn't joking. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

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31608

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By tom0441 - Reserved

Today, I saw a father and son playing football in a car park when I was on my way to work. The ball rolled towards me so feeling nice I kicked it back to them. Turns out it went straight through their car window. FML

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27930

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By communistgirl - United States

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Blue Earth

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

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By lonleystoner91 - France

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML

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31953

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By amy1023 - United States

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

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36635

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By meowmeow - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

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11732

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By Anonymous - 5/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

AKA taking a screenshot

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

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1006

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By OUCH - Canada

Today, while going for a run in my neighbourhood I was hit by a car not once, but twice. The second car, closely following the first, stopped and then drove forward to see if I was all right. FML

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By thrifty gone wrong - United States - El Cajon

Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML

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29937

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By lovehim - United States

Today, I had to tell my boyfriend to stop inviting his mother on our dates. FML

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43010

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By hopeless - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML

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55195

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By Nyxilia - United Kingdom - Edgware

The best cat

Today, I was woken up by my cat. Did he bite me? Meow to get fed? No, those are too common. He scratched my hole, and it was very exciting. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

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By mushroomless - United States - Thayne

Today, I got yelled at in a grocery store by a customer who recognized me from the pizza place where I work. Apparently, I forgot mushrooms on her pizza earlier this afternoon. I had the day off, but thanks for the verbal lashing, lady. FML

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Top comments

By inappropes | 31

#7404154 - Saturday 4 February 2017 5:16

If a random stranger could convince her she most likely was already thinking it.

By bulletsinthewind | 21

#7405530 - Monday 6 February 2017 13:07

Friend, if she could so easily be convinced by a total stranger, then perhaps are she shouldn't have been your girlfriend in the first place. But don't worry about it. Shit happens, and sometimes relationships come and go. Since I, myself, have had a few shitty relationships in the past, I can say there's always someone else out there.

COMMENTS

By inappropes | 31

#7404154 - Saturday 4 February 2017 5:16

If a random stranger could convince her she most likely was already thinking it.

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7405519 - Monday 6 February 2017 12:42

What I want to know is why her choice of transport mattered so much to you in the first place.

barleyguy | 17

#7405534 - Monday 6 February 2017 13:17

uber isn't a thing where i live but maybe its because as far as i know. anyone can be a driver for uber. went to the states for my honeymoon a few months back and me and my wife dared your bus system over uber. we got lost.

usnwife | 18

#7405573 - Monday 6 February 2017 14:38

Finances? If she had complained about the cost to come see him I could understand him trying to convince her to save money... Either way though, sounds like it was a very weak relationship

usnwife | 18

#7405574 - Monday 6 February 2017 14:38

Finances? If she had complained about the cost to come see him I could understand him trying to convince her to save money... Either way though, sounds like it was a very weak relationship

vicfirthfan | 11

#7405691 - Monday 6 February 2017 18:56

I mean public transport is probably way cheaper than uber

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7405523 - Monday 6 February 2017 12:46

What I want to know is why her choice of transport mattered so much to you in the first place.

GhostFox | 33

#7405526 - Monday 6 February 2017 12:51

OP was worried that their GF would be attacked, cheat, or that the scenario that happened in the post would happen.

davidl7 | 17

#7405811 - Monday 6 February 2017 23:33

Probably arbitrarily hates Uber now cuz of the Trump thing.

crownedcrazy | 14

#7405882 - Tuesday 7 February 2017 4:06

He was most likely just being considerate about her spending so much to come see him and wanted her to save some money.

By bulletsinthewind | 21

#7405530 - Monday 6 February 2017 13:07

By RichardPencil | 29

#7405637 - Monday 6 February 2017 16:53

Crazy people ride the bus.

I like to think I'm normal, but I do occasionally ride the bus.

By CastaP | 12

#7405675 - Monday 6 February 2017 18:24

You dodged a bullet, buddy!

By onceuponatime456 | 16

#7405685 - Monday 6 February 2017 18:45

It may hurt at the moment but you haven't lost anything. If that is all it took for her to break with you then she is not worth having.

By RichardPencil | 29

#7405819 - Monday 6 February 2017 23:49

Was he trying to get in her pants, or was he just stirring up shit?

By kenny111598 | 0

#7405831 - Tuesday 7 February 2017 0:39

Time to ride the bus and get back out there, who knows maybe you'll steal someone else's girl

By sambmjmdjj | 9

#7405938 - Tuesday 7 February 2017 8:01

She had to ride a bus to see you rather than you picking her up and taking her out? No wonder she is gone.

ColdCreasent | 17

#7405945 - Tuesday 7 February 2017 8:28

Not everyone is made of money or owns a car. And riding a bus is a standard part of everyone's life if they live in a city.

For the first few times with a girlfriend it would be nice to drive and pick them up, but when it's been a while it's sometimes better to have them come your way instead.