Gross, Babies and Kids: Cropduster

Cropduster

By Sodge - 15/05/2009 10:20 - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 409

You deserved it 45 253

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Same thing different taste

Fussy eater

By germaphobe - 19/08/2021 20:59 - United States

Today, my kids and I went to have dinner with a coworker. After everyone ate, the kids went to play while I helped clear the dishes. To my horror, instead of individually wrapping the kids leftovers, she scraped all the uneaten food back into the main pots. I wanted to puke on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 154

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 5 406

By Damnsoup - 03/07/2009 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 279

You deserved it 6 988

Two rooms, two atmospheres

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 16:58

Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 151

No soup for you

By jnisla - 11/10/2013 22:44 - United States - Conway

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 242

You deserved it 3 449

By Anonymous - 12/01/2012 18:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 620

You deserved it 11 078

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 438

No soup for you

By unicornlove - 17/07/2020 20:01

Today, I was bringing a table a bowl of soup at my waitressing job. A new customer taking off his coat threw his elbow out, violently knocking the soup out of my hands and onto his baby in a highchair. The baby screamed; I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 896

You deserved it 161

By hamboneghost - 24/02/2015 19:02 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 311

You deserved it 8 865

By Anonymous - 24/11/2013 18:31 - France

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 548

You deserved it 4 518

tick_tock 0

Friday 15 May 2009 20:14

#8 I hope you are kidding because why on Earth doesn't he deserve to be a dad? He was just playing with his baby. I have pictures of my mother spinning me around in the air and it is something many parents do. Cut him some slack, honestly, at least he didn't drop her when she was vomiting.

ohhboyy 0

Friday 15 May 2009 20:21

babies throw up all the time they're like mini drunks

Comments

aback 4

Friday 15 May 2009 20:04

Should have gone for a trifecta.

newmanlyman3 8

Wednesday 24 March 2010 1:29

don't do that to a baby you Dumb Ass!!!!

chelzy 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 23:41

yeah. #71 is rite. ur gonna kill ur goddamn baby!! look up sbs, or shaken baby syndrome. causes 95% of all infant deaths you bastard!!!

joanjett 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 5:33

He's doing it cuz OP likes to eat babies. That bastard.

Bizenghastly 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:27

73- hun, while you're right that shaking baby syndrome is quite serious, I highly doubt that this "spinning" op mentions is anything near that rigorous. I'm sure it was done PLAYFULLY. that being said PPL PLEASE LEAVE YOUR BABIES UNSHAKEN!!! (prettiii pleases?) ^_^

Big_Blue_Sumthin 0

Friday 15 May 2009 20:06

I'm impressed you didn't drop her. Bravo Dad

kristenlee 3

Friday 15 May 2009 20:06

Should have had a v8.

I2OI3 0

Friday 15 May 2009 20:07

Sympathy spewer! I love it, I've never heard that before but I know exactly what you're talking about! I can see this whole event unfolding too - hilarious, I'd expect to see something like this happen to Ben Stiller in Meet The Parents or something!!