Kids: Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the...

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 05:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 773

You deserved it 6 523

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By queen_lol - 10/05/2016 17:14 - United States

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 511

You deserved it 2 180

Misbehaving

By anonymous - 05/02/2013 05:22 - United States - Hampton

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 397

You deserved it 3 226

By embarassed - 20/03/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 018

You deserved it 10 499

By nobabies - 10/12/2017 01:30

Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 262

You deserved it 478

By kate - 29/04/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 791

You deserved it 8 558

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 934

You deserved it 1 767

Sights, sounds, smells

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 12:00

Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 158

Blast from the past

By how old am I? - 07/05/2022 06:00

Today, I was hosting a small party for my nephews and a couple neighborhood kids. I unexpectedly started my period while I was serving the snacks. Have you ever been pointed and laughed at by a bunch of 12 year-olds? Ah, just like the good old days… FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 116

Cropduster

By Sodge - 15/05/2009 10:20 - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 407

You deserved it 45 238

By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 16:44 - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 050

You deserved it 6 139

rattusrattus 18

Monday 4 February 2013 12:08

Trust me, you were only saying what everyone else was thinking.

DocBastard 38

Monday 4 February 2013 13:09

The difference between a good kid and a bad kid is a good parent who isn't afraid to say "no".

Comments

VampTat 10

Tuesday 19 February 2013 6:43

Why wasn't the child in bed??? Most folks put their youngsters to bed during parties like a Super Bowl Party...

Darkblade21 20

Saturday 16 March 2013 5:42

Hey guys, OP here. The women hosting the party ended up being completely unapologetic in the end, as well as defending her son an herself. To anyone wondering, she already has 3 kids and the twins would be here fourth and fifth children.

Darkblade21 20

Thursday 25 April 2013 9:30

Hey guys, OP here. I didn't k ow this got put up until recently, so sorry for the delay. I wanted to clear some things up. First, this lady does have 3 children already, so the twins will be her 4th and 5th. Secondly, I was not "dragged" to the party in the sense that I am a child, but I went with friends because I honestly had nothing better to do. To all the people who said apple sauce is the new style, damn straight it is.

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Saturday 10 August 2013 14:47

I hope you meant the applesauce

littlexlune 16

Monday 12 August 2013 23:09

I can understand your skepticism. People who can't control their kids should be sterilized.

alphabitch 2

Monday 9 December 2013 10:42

Great response!

Darkblade21 20

Saturday 8 November 2014 8:23

Hey, Op here. Didn't realize that this was posted until I found it while sifting the random section. For a bit of background information, I had no affiliation with any of the people at the party other than my family, who decided I needed to come for whatever reason. The family hosting the event is completely out of hand, they had 5 children before the twins. All of their children are poorly behaved, scum of the Earth, obscenely entitled nuisances that do whatever they want wherever they want, and their parents are both silver spoon spineless rich kids that never grew up. After I made my remark, we left quickly. For those bashing me for a lack of manners, I think you may need to have been there, as any form of civil behavior was quite foreign in the situation. I generally try to treat people, especially hosts, with respect and kindness. The first comment on apple bottom jeans was pretty funny, the 50 duplicates got old quickly. I'm just satisfied that I got this posted, I'm not sure I was logged in when I did though. Either way, thanks for taking the time to read my rant, have a good one!