Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
Today, I was at my uncle’s farm and his pig had piglets. They looked super adorable, so I picked one up. The poor thing started shrieking bloody murder. Mama pig wasn’t too happy. I have the stitches to prove it. FML
Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Today, I ate at Waffle House for lunch, and had a Pork Chop Dinner. I'd never had it before, but I definitely I won’t get it again because later on I was getting ready for a shower and I try to let a fart out. Bad idea, because I shat all over my bathroom. Now I think I have food poisoning from it. FML
Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML
Today, I was struck at home with a stomach virus. My dad, being an occasional insensitive smart-ass, decided to cook some bacon, sit right in front of the couch I was lying on, and eat the bacon. Last time I tried to eat bacon with a stomach virus... Not pretty. FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML
Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML
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Top comments
lyndis_fml 0
Pity she didn't dissect you.
lindsaylikeomg 0
this reminded me of the trailer for the movie where they feed the baby pig bacon...
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Comments (106)
iBlazer 0
YDI for eating pork.
allmidnighteyes 11
**** all you veg kids ragging on the OP. bacon-wrapped shrimp is ******* delicious.
manicrose 3
Ohhh you used to have such lovely comebacks. now you're all "f you." Such a shame.
aneurysm7 0
soo basically, if you fainted from disecting a pig, i'm sure you wouldn't want to eat pork an hour later.. that's pretty ******* ironic. the kids not a pussy because he was making an ironic statement? also - i hate activist vegetarians. if you don't want to eat meat, good for you. don't push your opinions on us, we don't tell you to eat meat every time you mention salad..
HoldenBryant 0
Wow... **** Yall's Life for arguing on a forum on FML... Pathetic..
ThatsSoRaven 0
AGREED. You sir, are real.
GodessOfNarcotic 0
YDI For Disecting A Poor Pig !
metrockick10 0
How do you know the pig was poor? He may have been independently wealthy.
Narzhul 0
Now that's what you call capitalist pigs
xbbyfcex 0
lmfao
happypapp12 0
Drink water man. Plants are living things too! Don't eat meat or veg man it will wreck the world just drink water you know? Wo my hands... They they they look so hand like wo
ihateuall 0
oh, poor me! my mom took me out of school because i fainted! then she made me food! my parents would have left me there.
ozymandias_fml 0
.... Grow up? Fainting at a little bad smell? Unless you have *serious* medical issues, you should not be fainting, and if you *do* have medical issues, you should be at the hospital.
Intellectualist 0
and you should go back to school, you're a moron. The OP could have a particularly good sense of smell, that doesn't mean they need to be in hospital. And anyone who does *this* when emphasizing something needs to be shot in the kneecaps until they lack shins.
tonelove14 0
who cares