Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
Meat is murder
Today, I was at my uncle’s farm and his pig had piglets. They looked super adorable, so I picked one up. The poor thing started shrieking bloody murder. Mama pig wasn’t too happy. I have the stitches to prove it. FML
I told you so
Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML
Miss Pissy
Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML
Great ad for Waffle House
Today, I ate at Waffle House for lunch, and had a Pork Chop Dinner. I'd never had it before, but I definitely I won’t get it again because later on I was getting ready for a shower and I try to let a fart out. Bad idea, because I shat all over my bathroom. Now I think I have food poisoning from it. FML
Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML
Barf
Today, I was struck at home with a stomach virus. My dad, being an occasional insensitive smart-ass, decided to cook some bacon, sit right in front of the couch I was lying on, and eat the bacon. Last time I tried to eat bacon with a stomach virus... Not pretty. FML
Scarfing it down
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML
Fighting talk
Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML
Top comments
lyndis_fml 0
Pity she didn't dissect you.
lindsaylikeomg 0
this reminded me of the trailer for the movie where they feed the baby pig bacon...
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Comments (106)
aholwt 0
i fainted last year dissecting pigs too :( i didn't get to go home though :(
turdburgers 0
Did you turn on the ventilation? If so, grow a pair. I dissected the same formaldehyde soaked pig for half a semester and I relished the experience.
Squander 3
Disecting is major, super fun. I love disecting.
marinlabyrinth 0
Wow. This is what I hate about most people. If you can't accept the fact that what you are eating is the carcass of an animal, YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO EAT MEAT. if you wouldn't go out and slaughter your own pig, don't eat pork. It's completley disrespectful to the animal who died so you could have a tasty meal. When people just don't want to know or hear about what they are eating because it "grosses them out", that's just messed up and cowardly. I doubt the damn pig is any less thrilled about being dead as you are. Suck it the **** up or become a vegetarian, and help out the workers, environment, and your health while you're at it.
rosy_fml 0
You need to calm down. The OP didn't elaborate on how she felt afterwards, and maybe she's changed. By the way, you completely missed the point. Unless you have something intelligent to say, quit running your mouth.
wgs9513 0
it's your fault
metrockick10 0
It was probably the formaldehyde, not rotting piggy flesh. I hate the smell too, and I've dissected a ton of stuff (frogs, squid, pigs, cat, earthworms) but hey, if you could eat pork chops before slicing open Mr. Piggy then you can do it now. I have no problems eating meat even though I know where it comes from because it tastes yummy. The smell never gets better, but you do get more used to it. Just try to breathe out of your mouth, and don't hold your breath (which is probably why you fainted). Think of all the other chemicals you breathe throughout the day. The only difference is, you've gotten used to those.
I_dont_care771 0
Look at the human jaw and teeth, it is designed to EAT MEAT! Besides, look at cows, they live in grass. And they shit on grass. That means my food ***** on your food. It makes no sense to be a vegetarian. Also a lot of vegetarians do not get a lot of protein because of no meat and no food from animals. And let me guess, you drink milk, you eat cheese, I'm sure you have shoes that were some way or somehow made of animal skin and im sure that you have eaten eggs, all of which come from animals. Learn to be human
vetter_fml 0
Your food ***** in its own food and then is fed ridiculous amounts of antibiotics so that way it doesn't die before slaughter. You can't live strictly on meat. You could live a very long life on strictly vegan goods. It doesn't make sense to critique a random lifestyle because you feel like being an asshole today. And the FML wasn't about vegetarianism.
metrockick10 0
Actually, with organic meats available, you're able to get meat that wasn't given antibiotics so that argument is flawed. Also, as far as living a vegan diet, yeah, sure, you can do it, but it would be an unhealthy lifestyle for me because of my level of activity. In order to consume the amount of protein, calcium, and other vitamins without consuming any animal product (including dairy or eggs) then I'd have to consume a ridiculous amount of vegetable and fruit matter which would be limiting to my lifestyle. A balanced died is the best, getting the required amounts of vitamins and nutrition from natural food sources, like a variety of meets, vegetables, fruits, grains, nuts, and dairy products. Gee, didn't they teach you that in Elementary school?
askantik 4
Okay, I registered on this site to refute some dumb stuff someone said about how being vegan wouldn't "give me enough protein for my level of activity." This is complete nonsense. Just so you know, when Carl Lewis won most of his gold medals, he was following a vegan diet. Additionally, there are entire websites devoted to vegan bodybuilding and vegan triathlons. Most people eat too much protein (more than the RDA), not too little (even vegetarians and vegans). Granted, you can't become a vegan and eat only white bread and be healthy, but hopefully I don't have to tell anyone that. Whole grains, legumes, nuts, fruits, and vegetables offer up a huge variety of foods with plenty of nutrients for anyone at any life stage. The American Dieititic Association notes that, "appropriately planned vegetarian diets, including total vegetarian or vegan diets, are healthful, nutritionally adequate, and may provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment of certain diseases. Well-planned vegetarian diets are appropriate for individuals during all stages of the life cycle, including pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood, and adolescence, and for athletes." Note that any diet should be "well-planned," not just a vegan one. Additionally, many studies show ALL adults should take a multivitamin. One such study in the Journal of the American Medical Association reads: "it appears prudent for all adults to take vitamin supplements." As for myself, I've been a vegan for almost 4 years and a vegetarian for 2 years before that. I cycle (both on-road and mountain biking) regularly, hike, and enjoy canoeing. I'm not underweight, frail, weak, or pale. By writing this, I'm not trying in any way to be smug or anything like that-- but it irks me when people write things that are wholly untrue. I am willing to discuss anything further with anyone who wants to say that "humans were meant to eat meat" or other ridiculous unprovable statements. And for the record, I think PETA does more harm than good to any of this and wish they'd go away. Rather, I'm a big fan of Gary Francione. Thanks :)
manicrose 3
yes we're totally designed to eat JUST MEAT, that's why we have fangs and strong jaws like a wolf (which live on meat alone) and why we are physically "designed" to be able to catch/kill our meat with our bare hands or even cavemannish weapons. NOT.
FML191919 3
Hahhahah this isn't really an fml but it's still hilarious
SumKid_fml 0
I actually cant wait to take anatomy class
050294 0
marinlabyrinth - well, by your logic, you need to harvest your own damn crops to not "disrespect them" Retard
sallybobally 0
fun fact for snooty ovo-lacto vegetarians : cheese almost invariable has dead cow parts in it. Rennet, from the lining of a cow's digstive system, is what they use to curdle cheese