Gross and Transportation: Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling...

By taylor_eileen - 26/12/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 587

You deserved it 3 194

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Same thing different taste

Getting the point across

By Anonymous - 05/05/2020 02:00

Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 134

Ralph and Huey

By justmyluck - 12/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 727

You deserved it 4 910

By HiRveryone - 05/03/2018 19:08 - United States - Centre

Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 986

You deserved it 393

Priorities

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was sent by my mother and her boyfriend to pick up some take-out. After getting the food, I began to turn out once the traffic light was green. An asshole cop sped past the red light and slammed into my car, totaling it. When I called my house, my mom's boyfriend asked, "Where's our dinner?" I'm fine, by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 78

Leave me out of this

By hahahah111 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 209

You deserved it 4 380

By ohseven6421 - 03/09/2010 04:13 - United States

Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 102

You deserved it 79 045

No tip for you

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:34 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 049

You deserved it 11 984

By Anonymous - 29/05/2016 02:20 - United States - Exeter

Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 995

You deserved it 1 759

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 17:53 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 062

You deserved it 2 923

By Lunab123 - 01/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Potomac

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 902

You deserved it 2 560

lemony_fml 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 2:35

How the frick did you know the chicken was spicey? 'less you picked up a chunk to taste?

bailo 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 3:01

this fml was so anticlimactic

Comments

youngbutwise15 5

Sunday 27 December 2009 2:02

Ah, spicy and your mom don't mix to well. :/ Mmmm Pukey car smell. Better than new car smell.

WhatANoob 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 4:47

I like new car smell. It makes me feel like a princess.

seanreddog 4

Sunday 27 December 2009 2:03

Should've had a V8!

catfriend44 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 2:05

ew lol

youngbutwise15 5

Sunday 27 December 2009 2:10

#3 Your number begs to differ...

JERKKMONKEY 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 2:16

ew she shoulda had a baggy. xD

youngbutwise15 5

Sunday 27 December 2009 2:17

#3, Don't be so cold. Be happy you got into the top 3!

lemony_fml 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 2:35

How the frick did you know the chicken was spicey? 'less you picked up a chunk to taste?

bailo 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 3:01

this fml was so anticlimactic

infantry831 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 3:12

kick rocks.I hope your mom throws up on you

bailo 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 3:30

hostile reply

mitch178 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 3:41

sucks

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family Cats DIY Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 024

You deserved it 3 406

Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 279

The Top

Today, I had a conversation with a girl on Tinder, for the third time this month. Just like the other two girls, she turned out to be a prostitute. Only prostitutes will give me the time of day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 198

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 391

You deserved it 17 286

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 231

You deserved it 5 221

Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 2 155

Today, my boss fired me because I "didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 073

You deserved it 3 846

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 809

You deserved it 59 564

Same thing different taste

Getting the point across

Ralph and Huey

Priorities

Leave me out of this

No tip for you

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