By annoyed - 22/01/2015 20:23 - United States - Berkeley

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 539
You deserved it 10 193

Same thing different taste

Top comments

AirBusDriver 23

Clap clap clap... maybe next time you ought to just FAP FAP FAP.

giantsfan2010 23

Don't be silly, cover your willy!


Isn't Chlamydia the one called The Clap?

razzledazzle21 23

Yes, which is why OP's dad thought his clapping was hilarious ;)

Wrong wrong wrong -- the clap is gonorrhea.

razzledazzle21 23

11 - you are right! I should've used google instead of relying on my memory as it tends to sometimes be faulty!

As long as you are not a doctor, in this particular case, it's ok.

I assure you doctors do not refer to it as "The Clap". We like to use bigger sciency words to make ourselves look smarter.

You should call it "The Clap", Doc. Medicalisms should be avoided.

I bet that was hurtful and really pissed you off.

#25, Should I bring you a step ladder or...?

*gets decapitated by low flying joke*

For those that don't know if you get the clap it burns when you pee, or so I've been told...

giantsfan2010 23

Don't be silly, cover your willy!

I get it, you're trying to be funny, but just a little reminder to you (and all the other people saying he should have wrapped it): condoms do not guarantee that the user will not acquire an STD.

giantsfan2010 23

Exactly, but can't hurt to put one on, unless you end up being allergic to latex, but there are non latex alternatives

UhHuhHoney 20

That's why you don't have sex with people you don't know. I don't feel sorry for OP.

If you get the clap then give it to a bunch of people is it then called an applause.:)

I'm sick and ******* tired of 1) the drooling idiots who say "condoms don't always work" on every single FML where they are mentioned and 2) the fact that those comments are always voted way up. Listen very carefully, morons: NOTHING works 100%. Is that a reason not to use them? Of ******* course not. But they do work exceedingly well when used properly. Seatbelts also don't work 100% of the time, but do you say "**** it, they don't always work, so I'm not going to wear one, and on the off chance I hit a tree, I can go flying through the windscreen and hit the ground at 120kph rather than being protected by airbags and roll cages"? If you do, then you're just as much an idiot as those who don't use condoms because they aren't perfect either. Rant over. You may now thumb me the hell down.

We're not saying that because they don't work, we don't need to wear them. We support wearing them, just mentioning that it isn't a guarantee that you won't contract an STD.

You do realize that you can get an STD from having sex with someone that you know, right? People have gotten it from their own spouse, don't make assumptions.

Maybe I missed it, but did OP say that they weren't wearing a condom?

lilybadilly25 15

One way to find out! OP, start a round of applause!

70- That clearly isn't what they're suggesting. They're saying that, because condoms aren't always effective, we shouldn't be so quick to assume that OP wasn't using one. If you couldn't figure that out, then you probably shouldn't be calling other people "drooling idiots".

#55 I am SO ******* tired of people saying this! A LOT of people get STDs from someone they know! I almost got HPV from an ex, thankfully I didn't though.

You can get that without even having sex, if you could only get it from having sex it probably wouldn't exist in the first place.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
AirBusDriver 23

Clap clap clap... maybe next time you ought to just FAP FAP FAP.

I came in here just to thumbs up this comment after seeing it in the preview.

Just made me laugh out loud. Not even joking!

I logged in for the same reason. Great minds? ;)

Atleast he was smart enough not to catch gonorrhea....

chocolatefrog28 29

Well doesn't that sound like a lovely family bonding moment.

is anyone else wondering why OP told their dad?

Haha well played but YDI., if I was your old man I'd take it a step further and YouTube to the Greek got the clap song and blare it. You're lucky it's a curable std