By forever1990 - 28/01/2013 11:52 - United States - York
Add a comment - Reply to : #
ir doesnt say her soon to be mother in law meant to get food OP was allergic to. it is unacceptable for her mother in law to deviate from the food that was actually meant to be ordered by any means, but I think there is a chance she is just self centered, not intolerant.
I'm getting the vibe that she doesn't like you, if in fact she knew you were allergic to said food.
You should have mentioned your dietary preference to her. Specially things that are you allergic. Sorry OP.
I'm not sure I'd stop a wedding because of the food. If only OP has the allergy maybe they can arrange something different. If the caterer worked in the place the reception was held there's a possibility they could whip something up. Not convenient I know but I wouldn't cancel a wedding because of food. :)
I clicked YDI for this one. As nice as it is to let your mother in law be a part of the wedding plans, letting anybody else have control of the catering is a big no-no. Not only to avoid stupid (and potentially dangerous) situations like this, but also because it's YOUR wedding - why would you want someone else to choose what food you eat on your special day? Hell, I don't even let people choose my birthday cake because I know they'll either choose something they like or something they don't know I hate. >_>
Maybe I am pessimistic but I just couldn't imagine letting anyone other than me or my husband plan the food for my wedding. Sure, my family and friends know what food I like...but that doesn't mean their choices are always going to gel with mine. And sadly, I think it's far more common for someone to be an asshole about another person's food allergy, than a person with a food allergy "forgetting" to mention that they have an allergy. Food allergies can end in death, so it pays to be extra picky when it comes to ordering food. But that doesn't mean there aren't people who think food allergies aren't THAT serious or that it's "funny" to get a person with an allergy to eat said food.
I would agree to a point. If my in-laws begged to be a part of my wedding, I'd probably let them lead the dinner prayer, or something mostly out of the way. I MIGHT let them host the rehearsal dinner. Given that catering IS extremely important, OP should have thought to double-check her order with the caterer. And 11, you clearly have never had vengeful in-laws. I used to think it was something of a sit-com type thing, but then I met my future father-in-law. He makes the movie "Monster-in-law" look like a picnic, and probably WOULD try to poison me if he could. Just because most people aren't that mean doesn't mean that some won't be when their role in their child's life is no longer the center.
Even that wouldn't necessarily save you. At my best friend's wedding, the caterer CHANGED what they served at the last minute to stuff she was allergic to. She didn't find out until biting into it, because they were all sandwiches (it was a 'Victorian tea' theme). She told the caterer about her allergy to all things fish. And she was very specific about which sandwiches she wanted. How do I know? Because, as her MOH, I was there for every meeting with the caterer, and there again when she confronted them about it. What did they say? Well, she wasn't the only person eating, and people like fish, and there were other non-fish options, so they figured it would be okay.
She chose to settle for a refund (possibly partial - I never did ask) and a bunch of negative reviews on various wedding sites. She said it was guaranteed, and didn't require her to spend MORE money after just having a big wedding for a possible payout years later. In retrospect, I wonder how many other brides who used them decided a lawsuit wasn't worth it...
Well there is always a sexy dessert after a wedding if you get what I mean...