Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the...

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 16:00

Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 271

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/05/2014 02:58 - United States - Mount Airy

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 291

You deserved it 4 017

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 263

You deserved it 3 435

By ANON - 21/09/2016 14:09 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 776

You deserved it 781

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 185

You deserved it 3 947

By Anonymous - 20/07/2014 05:23 - United States

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 533

You deserved it 4 433

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 10:15 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 962

You deserved it 3 118

By rescuetheduck - 10/04/2012 19:26 - Finland - Joensuu

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 937

You deserved it 7 273

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 976

You deserved it 1 800

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 417

You deserved it 3 278

Anger issues much?

By justhatelife - 09/12/2016 14:49 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 327

You deserved it 1 317

BurnInDemonFire 33

Friday 28 December 2018 18:44

"I shall call him 'Squishy', and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy. Come here Squishy! Come here, little Squishy!"

TxKitten79 10

Saturday 29 December 2018 16:14

I'm sorry OP, but I laughed. C'mon, it's funny.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

Friday 28 December 2018 18:44

"I shall call him 'Squishy', and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy. Come here Squishy! Come here, little Squishy!"

weaboo 12

Saturday 29 December 2018 8:21

Yeah well you’re not really going to explode

BurnInDemonFire 33

Saturday 29 December 2018 19:48

Someone's never heard of spontaneous combustion.

TxKitten79 10

Saturday 29 December 2018 16:14

I'm sorry OP, but I laughed. C'mon, it's funny.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Saturday 29 December 2018 19:50

Funnier if he giggled like Poppin' Fresh.

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I agree, your life sucks 7 143

You deserved it 872

Same thing different taste

Thanks…

Pranks for all ages

Anger issues much?

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