Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML
Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML
Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
um_duh 0
What a shitty day eh?
lololol111 0
11 and 12, psychology is a completely different field then psychiatry
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
trapiadora 0
Wow that sucks i don't think you deserved that one . Your there to talk to the person not to get shit thrown at you.
Pepperolls 0
#89 said exactly what I wanted to say.
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
1 is right. Only americans say 'poop' because it sounds childish
NiceGuy613 0
Seriously , If you're actually a 'psychologist' you should know that a colonostomy is not a procedure, but a common misspelling of colonoscopy. Or perhaps you mean colostomy, as #89 said. Either way, you fail.
mraus569 0
Aw man, that sucks. My sister had one of those bags not to long again and one night I was emptying it. It was really late and I wasnt really paying attention to all the air that was in it. Needless to say, it got everywhere.
doll_face 0
i'm not really a fan of evolution, but i guess darwin had the right idea.
bosco_kk 0
I imagined the whole thing and LOL'ed in real life.
eltoroloco_fml 0
Never F with someone who has a bag-o-poo
fylbiath 0
okay. um_duh is actually a legand :) you made my day BIG TIME. ahaha, oh god :)
daaz 0
To all of you saying poop is not as good as word as shit, well, its more hillarious. To the OP: I'm a phlebotomist, (workin towards nursing, woowooo!) and you psych techs have to deal with so much shit. You guys are great. Just remember you are doing a good thing.... and these people need you more than their poobags (sometimes)