Health: Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy...

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 263

You deserved it 3 435

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 760

You deserved it 2 490

Hard pass

By Mew - 04/06/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 219

You deserved it 4 085

Such a rewarding career

By DirtyNurse - 05/12/2020 07:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 157

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 417

You deserved it 3 279

We could be heroes…

By ally - 23/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Austin

Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 16:00

Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 364

You deserved it 271

Bag for life

By Anonymous - 25/02/2021 04:57 - United States

Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 67

True hero

By MentalHealthWorker - 17/09/2020 02:05

Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 223

By Anonymous - 20/07/2014 05:23 - United States

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 533

You deserved it 4 433

Pissed

By kkmirw - 14/10/2019 05:00

Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 104

um_duh 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:22

What a shitty day eh?

lololol111 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 12:45

11 and 12, psychology is a completely different field then psychiatry

Comments

trapiadora 0

Friday 29 May 2009 7:33

Wow that sucks i don't think you deserved that one . Your there to talk to the person not to get shit thrown at you.

Pepperolls 0

Friday 29 May 2009 8:44

#89 said exactly what I wanted to say.

AtoZnumbersand_ 1

Friday 29 May 2009 14:11

1 is right. Only americans say 'poop' because it sounds childish

NiceGuy613 0

Friday 29 May 2009 22:01

Seriously , If you're actually a 'psychologist' you should know that a colonostomy is not a procedure, but a common misspelling of colonoscopy. Or perhaps you mean colostomy, as #89 said. Either way, you fail.

mraus569 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 5:53

Aw man, that sucks. My sister had one of those bags not to long again and one night I was emptying it. It was really late and I wasnt really paying attention to all the air that was in it. Needless to say, it got everywhere.

doll_face 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 10:56

i'm not really a fan of evolution, but i guess darwin had the right idea.

bosco_kk 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 17:55

I imagined the whole thing and LOL'ed in real life.

eltoroloco_fml 0

Friday 5 June 2009 8:18

Never F with someone who has a bag-o-poo

fylbiath 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 21:43

okay. um_duh is actually a legand :) you made my day BIG TIME. ahaha, oh god :)

daaz 0

Monday 8 June 2009 23:17

To all of you saying poop is not as good as word as shit, well, its more hillarious. To the OP: I'm a phlebotomist, (workin towards nursing, woowooo!) and you psych techs have to deal with so much shit. You guys are great. Just remember you are doing a good thing.... and these people need you more than their poobags (sometimes)