Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML
Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML
Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML
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Top comments
um_duh 0
What a shitty day eh?
lololol111 0
11 and 12, psychology is a completely different field then psychiatry
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Comments (130)
urallosers 0
Not everyone is as retarded as you are. It's not colonostomy bag, it's colostomy bag. And you don't really have to tell everyone that they are filled with human excrement, most of us know that already. And maybe the patient was just pissed off because she/he still has an external bag, when internal units are currently available.
Ohnoitslindsay 0
Do the bags open when you take them off?
illeyad 0
#55 don't take FML posts so seriously! Furthermore consider the readership here, most of them are likely teens who have never heard of a colostomy bag before. Therefore, it helps to know what is being thrown at someone's face. If It simply read 'I had a full colostomy bag throw in my face' I'm sure many readers would have been either confused, or did not find it as funny. OP no one desserves to have crap thrown at them.
LyuboLove 0
and who said we've evolved that far from monkeys? :D
Saluton 18
I've already said this to someone who posted an FML about their working with a psychiatric patient and will repeat once again here: you've got to be ready for everything if you work in a place like this. Therefore? YDI. Sorry.
catatonicsleep 17
56, I would imagine the bags are open at the point where they join with the patients body, they're probably sealed once properly removed but I doubt that would have happened in this case....so quite possibly nastyness everywhere
sydney9_fml 0
I find hilarious that everyone here is so concerned with grammar. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big believer in commas, but shouldn't we be talking about the psychiatrist who got crap thrown at him? :) Also, seriously though, what is a colostomy bag?
sockittoembobby 0
If you were really a nurse, you would know that it's a "colostomy" and not a "colonostomy." Maybe go back and get your degree. YDI.
catatonicsleep 17
61.. From what I understand the bag replaces part of the large intestine and collects waste that would normally be passed out of the body.
coffeennicotine 0
Haha, #1 I'm American and I agree with that. I hate when people say that, or the worst is when they say "poopy" or "doody". #62, no one deserves to have shit thrown at their face. No where in this post did the OP say that he/she was a nurse. They could be a psychologist, volunteer, etc. There are a lot of people that work in a psych ward, and apparently you need to be there as well. OP, I'm sorry that happened, that's really gross.