Animals: Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two...

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 16:17 - United States

Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 375

You deserved it 6 358

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Same thing different taste

By birdhater - 15/10/2009 06:16 - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 867

You deserved it 2 667

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 7 345

Bedlam

By Snow-White - 04/07/2014 00:27 - United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 701

You deserved it 19 154

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 514

By Dog Person Now - 31/05/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 779

You deserved it 506

I just want to go to bed

By Jay Stevens - 22/02/2023 06:00

Today, it's 1 a.m. and once again a freaking bird has flew into my house from the attic. My cats are of course all crazy right now as it sits in my room, in a high corner beyond reach. My children are sleeping and I have no way to let it outside from where it is right now. Oh and it's freezing outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 123

Flash, ah ah!

By Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberer - 12/10/2022 20:00

Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 272

By Noname - 11/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 332

You deserved it 63 450

Fixing a hole

By NOT THE BEES - 15/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I thought I'd patched up the hole in my window pretty well. That is, until I heard a buzzing noise in my room. There was a huge ass bee that somehow got inside and was trying to escape. I would've helped, but I'm terrified of bees, and I'm now afraid to enter my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 214

By Stewtato - 12/07/2019 22:30

Today, a bat flew into my house. We locked it in my brother's room, complete with cats, and just barely got it back outside alive. We later found out it was an endangered species, so we also narrowly avoided arrest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 422

You deserved it 523

DrAwesome 6

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:11

Don't hummingbirds have short lifespans? I think it would be a lot less effort if you just let it die, and maybe become friends with it and exchange pleasantries while it was still alive. Maybe play a few board games, eat ice cream together, ride a two-person bike. Then, once he's riding the bike, ditch him, go back to your house and lock all of the doors and windows. This is me rambling.

WearingHats 14

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:34

Or let 3 more in.

Comments

Jonkbaby 22

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:10

that's some f'ed up s

pertained 12

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:36

to kill a mocking humming bird...

mak3_1t_ra1n 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:08

good job not closing the door. u could invite a friend over n pull a Chris farley/David spade. black sheep anyone?

diegomanguelo 5

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:11

you left the door open. ydi

jakeJIGSAW 2

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:28

how do you expect him to shut the door while carrying a bird? It'd be kinda difficult and what if he had no keys? FYL op

DrAwesome 6

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:11

thedevil96 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 5:38

you forgot to mention change the locks

WhipMyHair 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:12

lol...thats funny, but I would have been scared!

Hystical 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:14

You should have closed the door before you let him free!

ohrlynow 9

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:18

Two and a half hours? You were definitely set on getting that bird out of your house. After thirty minutes I would've gotten fed up and opened all the doors and windows to let it find its own way out.

WearingHats 14

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:34

Or let 3 more in.

ArianS2 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:27

Why hate on the bird? It just wants a warm place and family. You hater:<

Fortuitous 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:42

Oh my, KaySL, you are one funny duckling, you know that? Me gustan sus comentarios.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 27 October 2010 23:06

Kay, ease up on Arian. She's only 16. Plus, she's the master race.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 27 October 2010 23:15

Kay, I just got off the line with Warner Brothers' lawyers, and they would like $1,000,000 for the uncredited Pepé Le Pew reference. You can make the check out to "Doctor Bastard, MD." Thanks.

inevality 12

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:41

Fail. XD

ArianS2 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:02

Kay I think you have a lot of haters .By the way I'm a Male.

ArianS2 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:12

That's weird I could if sworn I saw someone thinking I'm a female. Anyways what's wrong with me being 16? I'm prob taller than you, but boy am I glad I don't know you irl :) Or live anywhere where I am from.

Sirin_fml 46

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:14

Please keep the flirting confined to private messaging, people.

TooAsianMane 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:23

if the cops come warn a brother! ( Warner brothers, lol.

Alei7 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:45

I agree ArianS2. [Also, I

Fortuitous 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:56

*clears throat and begins to make a profound statement of great length with no sarcasm* That was the greatest comment I have ever read.

ArianS2 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:05

Would a sticker of a golden star make you feel "Special"? *Gives sticker and pats you head* Make more comments like that and you will be rewarded with more stars!

ArianS2 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:14

Oh yes! First time my comment got moderated. Are there any achievements to earn on FML? Cause would like to earn the "First time comment moderated" award. Thanks. I would like it as a bade beside my picture.

ArianS2 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:17

badge* no idea how to edit comments on iPhone.

ColdGold 6

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:50

This worked for me: Open up an umbrella. Get it under the umbrella. Take the umbrella outside. Release bird.

maphineRAWRS 10

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:54

leave it for abit.. try again later.. in the meantime you should name it? i have some suggestions: Muriel Gertrude gladice agatha cornelious beautrice Mildred prudence Winifred.