Miscellaneous: Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my...

By sisterofthebride - United States

Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML

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35057

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Miscellaneous

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Mixed signals

Territorial pissings

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13863

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By hickey - United States

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11899

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62180

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By snow - Australia

Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58720

You deserved it

6758

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By MiniJeans - United States - Casselberry

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37156

You deserved it

12222

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By DQB - Canada

Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and blew past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10088

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61758

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12891

You deserved it

105971

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By Anonymous - 31/8/2020 04:01 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Unaware ableist

Today, I sat outside for a half hour hysterically laughing at this kid next door for constantly mooing like a cow. My mum came out to inform me the kid is severely disabled. I even mooed back at one stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

625

You deserved it

1912

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By trees - United States - Waupaca

Today, I watched one of my neighbor's trees fall into the electrical lines outside my house. This was after he took a chainsaw to the tree. He refuses to cover the damages. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48218

You deserved it

2907

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By Anonymous - United States - Helena

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she'd leave me for her ex in a heartbeat. Tomorrow is, or should I say "was", our wedding day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38880

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2386

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By Ilikeurfmls - 6/9/2020 05:05

Delusions

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents I think I'm suffering from schizophrenia. They refused to discuss it after telling me, "It's all in my head." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1490

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111

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By typical - United States - Cheshire

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

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48135

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4145

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By gnownayrgnow - United States

Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being "too nice" and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. FML

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45745

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By Anonymous - Russian Federation

Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31307

You deserved it

9240

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By Kas - 25/11/2020 11:02

Smelly cat, smelly cat…

Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

682

You deserved it

114

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By poop - United States

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23786

You deserved it

12926

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

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30813

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3355

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By Anonymous

Today, I was staying at my friend's house, which is next door. Our houses are the same layout, only mirrored, so tonight when I got out of bed in the dark I instinctively turned to my left, thinking I was entering the bathroom, and fell down the stairs. Three of my teeth are missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3327

You deserved it

401

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By blah - United States

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32051

You deserved it

10374

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By tiffylueg

Today, my allergies are killing me. I took a Benadryl to help, but the allergies are still here. I'm now chugging Mountain Dew at 9:30 in the morning to keep from falling asleep at my desk. Thanks for nothing Benadryl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12143

You deserved it

1482

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By bobbies - United States

Today, I was telling my sister about how I am horribly depressed and how I can't function and she responded with, "Oh, shit! I've got to go Jeopardy is on!" FML

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55544

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5944

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By bballer4_life - United States - Erie

Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7798

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866

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By how many?!

Today, a woman contacted me because she thinks my daughter and her children are half siblings. I thought it was a scam until she sent me a picture of my estranged ex and her kids, who look almost identical to mine. I’m the eighth woman she's contacted so far, with who knows how many more to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2040

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147

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By Alittlebitiffy - Australia

Today, I spent an hour pulling poop-covered prickles out of my husky's butt. A duck had startled him while he was doing his business and his first thought was to run, mid-poop, into a prickle bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10128

You deserved it

700

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By Anonymous - 1/5/2020 08:00

Never? NEVER?!

Today, I had a fight with my grandma again with whom I've been living for 4 years due to college hostel being below par. She blamed me for destroying her kitchen equipment by extensively cooking, especially at night. I've never placed a foot inside her kitchen since the beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1442

You deserved it

133

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By sadguy - Czech Republic

Today, I decided to propose to my girlfriend on the Charles Bridge in Prague. A little boy thought it would be fun to chase a flock of pigeons towards me. I freaked out and dropped the 2 carat diamond ring. Into the river. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60613

You deserved it

10935

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By Lennie Mcfish

Today, I confessed my love to my crush over text. Later, she posted the message I'd sent her on Facebook and wrote "look at the pathetic man". The post had over 50 laugh reacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3447

You deserved it

477

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By mrosewrosem

Today, I woke up with a swollen face and have been diagnosed with mumps. Despite having been vaccinated against it. Twice. I have three assignments due next week and I can barely stay awake long enough to type this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2574

You deserved it

237

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By fed up

Today, I bought a different car because I was having to constantly repair my old one. On the way home from the dealer, the check engine light came on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2744

You deserved it

194

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

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30200

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got really bored at work. I decided to spin myself around and around in my chair until I got really dizzy. Apparently my boss decided to start watching me do this while I was in mid-spin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7289

You deserved it

30018

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By amilia

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3245

You deserved it

300

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By Anonymous - United States - Southfield

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50026

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By Anonymous - United States - Ellicott City

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52538

You deserved it

20078

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By Carmen - United States

Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13779

You deserved it

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By Overworked - United States

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39308

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By charlieg9 - United States - East Meadow

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44183

You deserved it

15798

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By john r.t. - United States - Eagle Pass

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27603

You deserved it

3477

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By mac - Australia - Bankstown

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52337

You deserved it

4356

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31269

You deserved it

2597

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By Broke as hell - 7/4/2020 23:00

Hangry

Today, after being robbed last week, I had no money to go to the store for food. Instead, my dinner consisted of two Tums chewables in tropical fruit flavors. After not eating all day, I thought they actually tasted pretty good. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1910

You deserved it

136

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Top comments

By fallen45078 | 8

#6080330 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:36

Well thats revealing.

By mariab2898 | 13

#6080354 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:47

Well that's better than NOT catching the bouquet and flashing the whole world in the process

COMMENTS

By fallen45078 | 8

#6080330 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:36

Well thats revealing.

adrian1910 | 15

#6080355 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:48

Lol that bouquet thing really works.

krazayman | 18

#6080460 - Saturday 4 October 2014 1:56

is it just me or is everyones' comments getting downvoted

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6080525 - Saturday 4 October 2014 4:25

seems to be just you there, 26.

RamonTheGamer | 7

#6080532 - Saturday 4 October 2014 4:39

Yep, Toootally just him

AHzulu | 25

#6080693 - Saturday 4 October 2014 7:21

k m8

WolfyGrace | 24

#6080741 - Saturday 4 October 2014 9:34

Something tells me it's everyone in this thread and the majority of people in the rest of the comment section.

Toolishing | 22

#6081180 - Saturday 4 October 2014 22:26

Most comment threads are down voted nowadays. "Because why not?"

websraaa | 6

#6081575 - Sunday 5 October 2014 11:49

Lol

By CarlyMarDry | 16

#6080331 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:36

Feel for ya.

By Kiki242 | 19

#6080333 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:37

Multitasking is a good skill to have.

By shankypotato | 13

#6080334 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:37

Was the ceremony fun at least?

By Pleonasm | 34

#6080337 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:38

That's a nip in the bud for the wedding picture sharing.

garadan1 | 18

#6080434 - Saturday 4 October 2014 1:07

Cmon, Pleo! We all know you can do better!

ohSNAPyall | 26

#6080591 - Saturday 4 October 2014 5:57

Yeah, that comment was just a flash in the pan.

By Khaleesi_26 | 30

#6080343 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:41

That's kinda awkward infront of the family... But at least it was only family, burn the picture!!

mageepaigeee44 | 15

#6080501 - Saturday 4 October 2014 3:43

And friend/acquaintances. Plus I wouldn't want even just my family to see my hoo ha's.

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6080529 - Saturday 4 October 2014 4:36

good ha doesn't mean what you think it means...

mageepaigeee44 | 15

#6080538 - Saturday 4 October 2014 4:46

You're right. hoo ha= vagina. I thought it meant either.

carabobara | 7

#6081005 - Saturday 4 October 2014 18:39

the term is ta ta's. usage: my blouse buttons came undid and everyone saw my ta ta's. (tah-tah)

mageepaigeee44 | 15

#6081089 - Saturday 4 October 2014 19:50

Ta ta is the term I was looking for! Thank you haha.

By xXToxicPenguinXx | 12

#6080345 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:41

At least you caught the bouquet...

sarah5745 | 41

#6080684 - Saturday 4 October 2014 7:04

I would rather NOT catch the bouquet and not reveal myself, that to catch it and reveal myself.

By Michael903 | 18

#6080349 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:44

It's amazing how information about one's self can pop out from time to time.

By Futacy | 29

#6080350 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:45

You just went full Janet Jackson. Never go full Janet Jackson.

HairIsEverything | 15

#6080367 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:59

I feel like this is totally something Stewy would say!

By mariab2898 | 13

#6080354 - Friday 3 October 2014 23:47

Well that's better than NOT catching the bouquet and flashing the whole world in the process