Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
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Comments (299)
blacklite69 0
Dude, it's ok. You just taught the kid a valuable life lesson. Gotta learn somehow, eh?
commonusername 4
that's awesome, kid deserved it.
DuhthatsObvious 0
Hahaha that kid deserved it
aslate 0
O.O YOU DONT KICK CHILDEREN!!!!!!!
Kris2476 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Um..? You couldn't tell by looking at his face that he was a child? And this was a very young child, too. You fail. The KID didn't deserve to be kicked in the head, but you did.
zee209 0
It was a spur of the moment thing. As soon as she saw a head poke in, she kicked it, not wanting to be seen half naked by a random person. She never said the kid deserved it, and she obviously felt bad. It wasn't her fault either.
hawaiianxpunchx3 0
wow asshole
chiapet 0
haha his faced got owned by a door... TAKE THAT SOCIETY!!!
Squirrellord911 0
you have lived my (immoral) dream miss.
dramakat11 0
I think that's the wrong instinct to have. Maybe if it was a soft kick it would be ok but I can't imagine being kicked in the face is ever anything less than really painful and could easily break someone's nose! If someone were trying to peep at you they would deserve you screaming, covering up and then alerting security and even having them arrested but kicking them in the face is a bit harsh in my opinion. I understand where you were coming from but I just think it's a bit harsh.
commonusername 4
people can't always control their instinct...
Phantom13 3
What an EPIC stupid comment to make #37... You obviously have never heard of human nature. It's fight or flight response functioning at its best...and rather than run off or yell out for help like some half wit helpless bitch, she actually decided to fight back! Granted, hitting a little 4 year old wasn't exactly cool...but in her defense the kid should've been under someone's supervision...like, oh I don't know....his PARENTS maybe? Besides, who the HELL leaves their 4 year old alone in a store?! That's just bad parenting. Oh, and for everyone that's calling this child abuse...I say the child abuse is comming from the stupid parents themselves....in case no one has ever read a newspaper or watched the news recently, leaving your kid alone to wander around somewhere is considered child abuse as well. Look it up, morons.
letitbe56 0
I don't know why this comment is hidden. I completely agree.
riku3220 2
The kid should've been knocking or calling out to his mom. Since I'm sure you feel bad and you didn't realy have a way of knowing...: FYL