Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
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Top comments
englishmuffin 0
wow horrible luck though i don't know if i'd kick things just out of instinct
tikimuppet 11
I would probably have done a similar thing
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Comments (299)
extradorkyloser 4
I'm very sorry, but you greatly over reacted. In the case that it was a grown man, you could have been charged for kicking him in the face. Instead you could have gone to an authoritative figure and pressed charges on him, hence "The pen is mightier than the sword", meaning fighting back wouldn't have been the best option, and "tattling" much better :). And that poor, poor child!!! This makes me cringe 0.o. But you have very well learned your lesson with your ill-deserved "instincts". In the future, do not over react so.
epoh_fml 0
I completely agree extradorkyloser. My first instinct would be to yell and cover up, not kick someone in the face. And for the poster that mentioned self-defense, there is no self defense law in my state. A man broke into an elderly woman's house, and she grabbed her shot gun and started yelling at him. While he was running away, he tripped over her coffee table and broke his leg. He sued her, and won the case. If she HAD shot him, she would have gone to jail for murder/attempted murder. But this wasn't self defense. Noone hurt her. This was sheer over-reaction.
theanonimouse 0
That's why you gotta love Mississippi. If someone ever breaks into your home/threatens to harm you here, you have the right (and the obligation) to shoot that ****** in the face.
DameGreyWulf 1
Overreacting? If it had been a grown man, it would not be overreacting at all! If a perverted jerk was trying to get free looksies, he deserves a boot in the face, and thensome. No "pen is mightier than the sword" bs.. especially since you can press charges on him even after kicking him. Dunno what planet you're from, but he could NOT press charges since he was instigating in the first place. And you know sexual harassment from man towards woman almost always ends in the woman's favour. Though that means, on the flip side, if a man had done that to a chick, it would be considered uncalled for... **** the world's life, for that aspect. But yes, anyway, I would have definitely kicked and screamed.
DameGreyWulf 1
Oh, and, about the self-defense argument... nah, I wouldn't call it self defense either. Just instinct caused from all the published men in the world who are total pigs. As in, all the reports about rapists, creepers, scary kidnapping stories as children, etc, has caused a general natural instinct to develop where you feel the need to make a scene if you feel threatened or your (body) privacy was breached. (rawredittimelimit)
ananke2989 0
What state are you in Epoh
epoh_fml 0
I live in CT
nuutsacker 0
what a dumb comment. ur just coming off as stupid right now.
Everlasting_fml 0
LOL at everyone saying "YDI". Had she known it was a 4 year old, I highly doubt that she'd kick. Hell, I would even if it WAS a four year old, but that's just me. Honestly, instincts are hard to say "Oh hey, instincts, f**k off. That's a 4 year old because I can TOTALLY see through doors. I have super powers." Yeah, FYL. I'd feel really bad. Not that you could control it or anything, but I hope you said sorry and hugged the poor kid. (As long as he didn't run away!)
nuutsacker 0
you are a stain. if a 4 year old kid sticks his head under a dressing room door he deserves to be kicked in the face? i hope you get raped by a trucker, and i hope god shoves a jumbo-sized can of pringles up the asshole of every person who said it was the kid's fault
grungecat 0
Should've curb stomped him.
letitbe56 0
What I want to know is why did the kid's mother leave him alone like that? If she doesn't feel comfortable bringing him into the dressing room with her, then she should save her shopping for a time when he's not with her. You shouldn't leave a kid that young out of sight. If she had kept a better eye on her kid, this wouldn't have happened. But OP, your first instinct was to kick? Why not just yell? You sort of deserve it.
okami36 2
Little moron deserved it. He was lucky you weren't wearing shoes, and only kicked him once.
mordantennui 0
what the hell is wrong with people saying you have terrible instincts. that's EXACTLY the right instinct when some stranger invades your personal space
yeti09 0
F his life.
7hir7een 0
As far as I'm concerned, there's no issue here. Kid shouldn't have been a creeper.