By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 00:52 - United States - Ithaca

Spicy
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 277
You deserved it 23 602

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He probably would've stopped his shower for a minute so you could use the toilet. I know it may be embarrassing, especially with him being a new bf and all, but seriously? Shitting in a bag?

It's not that nasty. Everyone knows that when girls poop, glitter and pink fairy dust and a rainbow comes out. Right..?

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Oh that's so nasty! Why didn't you just go outside and find a nice bush that will hide you?

It's not that nasty. Everyone knows that when girls poop, glitter and pink fairy dust and a rainbow comes out. Right..?

What if she's in a city? The bush thing is even more nasty tho

Where I live, it's way too damn cold to shit outside.

If you have to shit you have to shit... that's pretty much all there is to it. And using snow to wipe your ass is painful so it had to be done inside.

Is this knowledge from experience #70?

#100 it's probably common sense....

Yeah, your relationship is going to last... *Cue pure sarcasm.*

Is that where party bags come from, #16??

Sorry to break it to you, but not everyone shits like a wild animal.

70, thank you! I grew up in Alaska and it hurts like hell, to go to the bathroom outside, pee or poop. OP, there has to be something close by that you could use next time. I suggest doing your research, before going over there next time.

#167 you know their is a proper way to do it haha, take little chunks on snow and let them melt in your hand then use them to rinse your butt rather than wipe.

You got experience eh?

It's okay OP. Shit happens.

Really? Does anyone learn that this comment is no longer acceptable.

They never will

#30 - I still find them really funny. lighten up.

Negative comment thread. ^^ My turn!

It's basically an FML tradition. One brave soul must make a shitty situation joke and bear the weight of thumb-downs. They might get a lot of crap for it, but it is a sort of comfort knowing that you can always trust them to be somewhere in the comments section.

Well this feed is going nowhere. I expect down votes to continue.

@59 at this point I take it as the only fixed certainty in a very uncertain world.

I couldnt have said it better myself, #2.

He probably would've stopped his shower for a minute so you could use the toilet. I know it may be embarrassing, especially with him being a new bf and all, but seriously? Shitting in a bag?

colton_colton 49

I agree. He would have understood something like that. You hit an all new level of desperation OP

is anybody else wondering what happened to the bag? most guys take quick showers so where would you put the bag afterwards? like I don't know is it weird that I'm wondering that?

What did op wipe herself with? paper towels or napkins?

Nope, I'm wondering the same thing. How the hell do you dispose of a bag of crap in someone else's house? Did she carry it around in her purse? Bury it in a flower pot?

I think it would be more embarrassing if he found out that you pooped in a bag than going poop while he was in the shower. If I was taking a shower, I wouldn't care.

Most apartment complexes have a community facility or clubhouse with a bathroom... Much better than a plastic bag.

Oops I read it wrong, but still, how does one look at a bag and think gee I should poop in here... At least take it outside! Fertalize the grass or something and blame it on the neighbors dog.

I want to know #1- what did OP do with the bag? #2- what did OP wipe with? #3- what did OP do to cover up the smell? #4- what room did OP do her business in?

The only thing i can think of as a way to dispose of the bag is to throw it away and then take out his trash for him.

Was the bag paper or plastic?

Im so confused... OP could have easily just told her bf keep the curtain closed, say I have to use the toilet, and the second the doodoo comes out flush, so its not stinky! I thought everyone knew this.

#160 Doodoo...really?

Really? A bag :/ ... Really?

Just like Borat!

Couldn't you have gone to a nearby shop or Cafe? :/ Why a bag?!

not everyone lives that close to a store either.

I was wondering the same thing. It is not like there isn't a gas station or a McDonalds on every corner. She could have came back with a coffee or some food or something to have an excuse for her absence. OP-- I think defecating in a bag is worse than letting your boyfriend know you have to use the restroom.

Maybe she didn't want to get locked out or make him think she ran off on him? Plus if you're really desperate, you may struggle to walk.

My house is a 15 minute drive to the nearest store. Not everyone lives in the city.

132-- house is the key word. My parents' house is 10 minute drive to the nearest public location. However, I have never seen any apartments in the middle of nowhere. People usually move to the country to get away from neighbors, apartments are full of neighbors.

Hahahahahaha! Oh my lorddddd. What did you do with the bag though?

Flung it out of a window? Lol

Took a shit in it.

14, you catch on quick.

Depending on her type of shit, how long of a shit and how big of a bag, it could have looked like anything from a bag of charcoal to dog food or even compost for farming. Whatever it may have looked like, I am sure that smell would leave no doubt in anyones mind. I truly hope she threw it in a garbage container far, far away.

@54- Reading your comment in Morgan Freeman's voice somehow makes it sound daintier, and makes me want to vomit somewhat less :)

@85 I am glad I brought a smile on your face. :)

better than doing it in your pants haha

Hey, when you gotta go you gotta go. These things happen...I'd rather it be in a bag than on my floor personally.

Could have used it as an opportunity to get past the "shitting around the other person" I'm sure if you'd have gone and then jumped in the shower with him he wouldn't have minded.

I won't even go around my girlfriend of 4 years. Shitting time is private time.

Alright, idk about you #9 but sexy time in the shower after my gf blew up the toilet does not appeal to me

My boyfriend & I have been together for 3 years & it was awkward last week when he had to pee while I was brushing my teeth!

I fully agree with #25 a guys got a shit alone.

FYL, but this made my day. AHAHAHAHAH