Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his tenth beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
Today, I drank half a bottle of tequila and had an edible within 30 minutes. I couldn't remember a thing until this morning when my roommates told me I pissed myself on the couch, projectile vomited in the living room, and went on to fondle my roommates, who also had to help me shower. I have a designated seat on the couch now. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
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Top comments
katgurl 13
LOL imagine actually watching this guy after that.. and drunk ? haha
capthavoc123 0
I don't pretend to be an expert on the culinary arts, but why would you eat a bowl of ANY kind of mushrooms by themself? There wasn't anything else to eat at a friggin' party?
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Comments (175)
paladininwaiting 1
#33 i hope so.....or at least that the battle still rages.....i really dont want millions of demonic shards falling upon me....
sadistmonkey 19
um...what do you mean "new meaning"?
o0ch 0
so sick of fake FML's made up by little kids who think that they can come up with something funny.... so obviously fake and never happened I would bet $$
mandyreid_ 0
i'll take that bet. i have eaten shrooms once by accident and i had a baaaaaad trip.
iKaite 0
Meaning Marioland looks like a massive trip. Raetard.
RufusCade 7
Has anyone thought of that he might not have any idea what shrooms look like? There are several different edible mushrooms and they look very different whether they are dried, fried or parboiled. I, for one, could easily do the mistake he did. Jädra skit, bro! :-D
LaughAtEric919 0
I'm calling bullshit. If you had an entire bowl of mushrooms and then drank, you would either barf your guts up, or go into toxic shock. Besides, who leaves an entire bowl of shrooms out as party snacks. I'm calling BS.
ech0s85 0
They make shrooms into chocolates and stuff guys. You can also easily take a huge dose, sure youll throw up eventually, but youd have plenty of time to polish off way too many first.
athame1983 0
this is fake. there is no way that someone would make that mistake--or that ppl would have shrooms in a bowl as a party snack w/out telling anyone
caamm 0
yea id have to say i agree. they arent cheap.
DameGreyWulf 1
I'm glad I don't like mushrooms, because now I won't do something as stupid as eating a bowl of mushrooms, that are really magic mushrooms, and calling them "snacks"
ninjobliveus13 0
Oh wow and to the person that said "the effect doesn't last twelve hours no matter the amount you take" tell that to my 26 hours of sleepless dreams I had at 16. You sir (or ma'am) are mistaken, like I said, many different kinds of "magic mushrooms", all of them having different effects. As far as time and intensity go.
pokypunk 0
shrooms all come from horse or cow shit.... it doesn't really matter whether you got it from an appaloosas turd or a paints... i think it's going to give you the same effect.. but a trip does last all night off of just a few good stems.
DameGreyWulf 1
... Are you talking about fertilizer? Because I'm pretty sure mushrooms grow in the ground. In which case it doesn't really matter what fertilized them, there are different species of "magic mushrooms" (incompasing all mushrooms that create a high or are hallucinogenic), of mushrooms in general. They're not all the same mushroom.
GrapefruitZoe 0
Liberty caps often do grow in cow patties.
dmc0143 0
Psilocybin (and psilocin even more so, for that matter) can withstand temperatures up to around 155-160 degrees fahrenheit, so you can boil them in water for about 10 minutes, or use them in other recipes that don't require very high levels of heat (the most common I've seen is adding them to melted chocolate), although normally a larger amount is needed than if you were to just eat them, but baking brownies is done at about 325-350 degrees for at least half an hour, so the chemicals would be effectively destroyed.
dmc0143 0
oops, replied to the wrong comment. But while I'm here, if you go picking "dirty shrooms" from a field, they do grow from cow patties. However, I've grown shrooms/only eat ones shrooms someone I know has grown, and those do not require any animal feces, thank goodness.