Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his tenth beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
Today, I drank half a bottle of tequila and had an edible within 30 minutes. I couldn't remember a thing until this morning when my roommates told me I pissed myself on the couch, projectile vomited in the living room, and went on to fondle my roommates, who also had to help me shower. I have a designated seat on the couch now. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
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Top comments
katgurl 13
LOL imagine actually watching this guy after that.. and drunk ? haha
capthavoc123 0
I don't pretend to be an expert on the culinary arts, but why would you eat a bowl of ANY kind of mushrooms by themself? There wasn't anything else to eat at a friggin' party?
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Comments (175)
sosadtoobadd 0
Geesh, I once smoked one little teensy bowl of my very best friends old dried up hash, and it wasn't even her last bit of it and she didn't talk to me for days. I can't imagine eating a whole bowl of someone's shrooms and not having them harsh on you pretty bad.
PurpDOODE 0
LOL, this made my DAY! WIN
wtf_fml 0
"...trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards..." Awesome. Epic writing. Love it.
Mydeadrose 1
dyslexic?
Erindub 0
People at high school parties might not just leave a bowl of shrooms laying out at but when you go to higher scale parties amongst celebrities that stuff is commen. Just saying. These things exist. I know
tipsypiink 0
recognize a joke and don't be so bitter there, chuckles.
FerrariCake 2
Why not just eat Doritos? Don't they have those in Sweden?
Nailbunny 4
#81, your friend must be an über bitch
Copilot 0
What I am wondering is who buys a significant amount of shrooms and then leaves them out for people to have. I know some people are generous with their drugs but to let you just eat a whole bowl of them?
smith314 0
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