Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his tenth beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
Today, I drank half a bottle of tequila and had an edible within 30 minutes. I couldn't remember a thing until this morning when my roommates told me I pissed myself on the couch, projectile vomited in the living room, and went on to fondle my roommates, who also had to help me shower. I have a designated seat on the couch now. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
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Top comments
katgurl 13
LOL imagine actually watching this guy after that.. and drunk ? haha
capthavoc123 0
I don't pretend to be an expert on the culinary arts, but why would you eat a bowl of ANY kind of mushrooms by themself? There wasn't anything else to eat at a friggin' party?
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Comments (175)
Pointy130 0
Magic mushrooms, sauteed in clarified butter with shallots. mmm.
funnyyy 0
hahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahaa
xenomorph 0
*** upon reading *** hahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . . . *** 3 minutes after reading *** . . . AHAHA *drops to floor* [b]HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA . . .[/b] *** 5 minutes after reading *** It must have been a life-changing experience. Use it well.
SneakyDeath 15
Did you ever save the world from collapsing?
xnj319 2
To the people saying "nobody would leave that amount of shrooms out in a bowl" - if they are rich enough, why not? Sure your average middle class person probably wouldn't, but I know some people in the film industry who have been to parties where they have large amounts of cocaine just sitting out for anyone to take. Some people have the money to do that sort of shit.
enough4 0
And yet, if someone were to confuse the cocaine for a bowl of sugar left for people to snack on, just absent mindedly jamming fistful after fistful of cocaine in to their mouths, I'm pretty sure someone would say something relatively soon.
Sappheyes 0
GOD I LOVE FISTFULS OF SUGAR!!
HunterFalls13 0
Haha there called 'shrooms' Idk if I spelled right tho
tst2012 0
dude why would this be an FML this sounds like an excellent night to me haha
RefinedMotion 0
I think it's cute how you called them "magic mushrooms" haha. thats great! so pleaseee, i need to know. did you save the world? i need to know! and #111 of course its an fml if this person as never done shrooms, and never wanted to, and wasnt intending on doing them, and don't even know what they are. have you ever tripped in a bad atmosphere? with people you dont know well and a place you've never been? its not fun. especially if dude was unintentionally tripping.
arsenalfcboy 6
They're called magic mushrooms, n'est-ce pas?
ik_im_not_funny 0
I call shenanigans! sounds like quite the expensive snack, whoever bought those would be freaking out.
xenomorph 0
That would explain the bad trip.
Dopehead666 21
LUCKY!!