Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his tenth beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
Today, I drank half a bottle of tequila and had an edible within 30 minutes. I couldn't remember a thing until this morning when my roommates told me I pissed myself on the couch, projectile vomited in the living room, and went on to fondle my roommates, who also had to help me shower. I have a designated seat on the couch now. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
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Top comments
katgurl 13
LOL imagine actually watching this guy after that.. and drunk ? haha
capthavoc123 0
I don't pretend to be an expert on the culinary arts, but why would you eat a bowl of ANY kind of mushrooms by themself? There wasn't anything else to eat at a friggin' party?
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Comments (175)
ironhulk_fml 0
dude why are u complaining thats the most awesome feeling in the world=D
Emmette 0
YDI for living in skåne!
dangletsbang21 0
haha, ydi :)
dochoc_fml 0
you couldn't tell that they were not normal snacks? you are a ******* retard
CYNNER 0
my english teacher tried shrooms and he was chasing care bears for hours
dyschordia 0
@ #50 - I direct you to my previous comment (#156) =D
Bretteamy 0
HAHAHAHA I wouldve PAID to see that! (: ..and katgurl you have AMAZING HAIR!(:
Rasetsu 10
that does suck. :(
lagamorphs 0
#113 EGG-ZACTLY! All you others are fools.
chelliejellie10 0
Ummm...and you didn't realize the "snacks" were shrooms...how? I'm pretty sure most people don't snack on normal mushrooms at parties cause they're kinda gross.