Didn’t anyone ever tell you to pace yourself with this stuff?

Is that the spot that's the best spot for the breeze and at the perfect viewing angle of the TV? And marked with a huge piss stain?

Makes me wonder what the hell you were thinking

Missing details from this story: You're 28, You're an Ivy League graduate, This happens every Friday, Your roommates think you're so pathetic they make you sit on the couch like a kid on the naughty step instead of kicking you out for what is essentially sexual assault and property damage.

Anything that starts with someone drinking themselves into oblivion and getting high is an automatic YDI. Maybe bring your consumption down a few notches so you don't puke and pee all over the place and to avoid sexually assaulting a roommate.