The planets aligned

Great start

Today, I started my period and have cramps that came from the hottest part of hell. I also have to go to work so that I don’t lose my holiday pay. Happy New Year to me. FML

Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML

Funday is canceled

Today, I’m currently battling a cold that caused me to call into work yesterday and, as of this morning, I’ve also started my period and have the most painful cramps ever. Good thing I have the day off from work. FML

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

The body keeps the score

Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML

Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML

My body hates me

Today, I got my period for the first time in two months. I got massive gender dysphoria and contemplated jumping off a bridge. I went to something very important and upon sitting up, I let out a massive fart and started bleeding heavier. FML

Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML