Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his tenth beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
Today, I drank half a bottle of tequila and had an edible within 30 minutes. I couldn't remember a thing until this morning when my roommates told me I pissed myself on the couch, projectile vomited in the living room, and went on to fondle my roommates, who also had to help me shower. I have a designated seat on the couch now. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
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Top comments
katgurl 13
LOL imagine actually watching this guy after that.. and drunk ? haha
capthavoc123 0
I don't pretend to be an expert on the culinary arts, but why would you eat a bowl of ANY kind of mushrooms by themself? There wasn't anything else to eat at a friggin' party?
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Comments (175)
Jimboom 12
Hmm, you would have thought that someone at the party would either have told the OP that they were shrooms, or would have told them to stop hogging them all to themselves. Cause generally where is a party where free drugs are available then there is a demand for them, and one guy sitting there stuffing his face would usually prompt the host coming along and telling them off for consuming all the party favours. ;) Oh and at least it was better than getting blasted on booze, making a fool of yourself, puking and then having to hug the toilet bowl until your head stops throbbing from the hangover the next day.
kisseshugsdrugs 5
i agree with this. when i go to parties where theres free drugs, its pretty uncommon for them to be just chillin around and nobody using them. theres a reason the drugs are there, PEOPLE WANT THEM! but the second part..imagine seeing someone tripping, especiallly someone that didnt know what it was like or didnt want to in general. theyre going to look crazy! i love to trip, but it is NOT cool to go to a party especially where you dont know anyone. imagine all the people asking you whats up or any conversation..talk about awkwardddd haha
NeedsaLife2 0
Lmfao that's actually hilarious!!
Sadiistic 0
too many shrooms does tha. O-O I learned this too
twignig 0
lmao
This_Quiet_Storm 0
LMAO! This is the funniest FML I've read in a long time. Ur awesome.
BikeMass 0
Sounds a lot like Owsley's famous trip, only his was with LSD. Crazy shit, eh? I've done shrooms & LSD though both in low doeses. Fun times, IF you know whats going on, otherwise it's just scary as shit.
blueshoes 0
lmao wow that's excellent, especially since you took them on an empty stomach. haha and 12 hrs! i would have love to seen that. and drunk too! @124: they're really not that bad. everyone says how horrible they are, and they come up with ways to mask the taste, but that's all a load of crap. shrooms do not taste that bad at all.
taylorxjeanne 0
YDI and so fake.
taylorxjeanne 0
YDI and so fake.
greeneye_fml 12
LOL "millions of demonic shards." Cool.