Lonesome today

By The unfavorite - 26/10/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I've noticed a pattern with my classmates: Every time a new student shows up, they are treated by my classmates as though they've known each other for years. Everyone except me. When I first came along, I was more or less a wallflower. No one wanted anything to do with me. The same is true today. FML
I agree, your life sucks 830
You deserved it 132

Same thing different taste

Top comments

As much as this is a blow to you right now, I suggest you he thankful for a number of reasons. 1) Your friends you work to make will be more authentic. 2) Going off to college/university/Trade School will see all those friendships go up in smoke anyway. 3) You will find more people more like yourself where you chose to live/learn/work. 4) In reality friendships are a lot of work. You should be working first on yourself. Get to know who you truly are (Self Discovery). There is no single answer for this/you here. 5) True friendships that last more than a few years are RARE. people change a lot throughout their lives. Finding those friends is hard and keeping them is harder. Best to use that energy on True relationships with real friends, not the facade that is Secondary/High School.

Marcella1016 31

This is going to sound 100% assholish, but...it’s probably you. To clarify, I went through this for years. I’ll describe what it was like for me and how I fixed it in case this is the case for you, too. Basically, I had no idea how to be “cool” and “social,” and I didn’t understand how some people just made everyone else gravitate toward them. I generally was pretty awkward and extremely unconfident—and classmates smelled it on me. For kids and young adults, they smell it as “weakness” and respond accordingly - and unkindly. How did I fix it? I eventually learned to fake confidence and learn “how to be” around people. After awhile, I realized it was no longer fake, and it actually became extremely easy to socialize. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen until my 30s - and teen me would be SHOCKED to see me today lol. And to be honest it can definitely be exhausting to do it - because it is a learned behavior, there’s constant wheels turning in the brain processing the “right thing to say” or do or interpret in any given moment. It’s now a habit, but it’s work. As others mentioned, with the way things are for now, you may find yourself with quality friends over quantity. Speaking for myself, it feels like the opposite—I always had difficulty keeping friends and I have 0 consistent relationships with anyone from my school days. And I was the awkward kid. Yet I see that many of the more outgoing kids are still very tight with their old schoolmates today, years and years later. I guess YMMV, but that was my experience. My suggestion is don’t be too hard on yourself, and try faking confidence for a bit and see what happens. When you feel those embarrassing, foot in mouth, “OH GOD WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!” moments, let it go and move on (because resentment can be felt and doesn’t attract people either). And work on yourself - no one is perfect, and it took a long time for me to realize that about myself as well. Before you know it, you’ll find a friend group that fits you :) TL;DR: Fake it till you make it. Pretend you’re cool and outgoing, and one day you’ll wake up and be like “Oh shit I’m cool and outgoing!” It’s ******* crazy but it works! Good luck, from a former outcast.

Comments

As much as this is a blow to you right now, I suggest you he thankful for a number of reasons. 1) Your friends you work to make will be more authentic. 2) Going off to college/university/Trade School will see all those friendships go up in smoke anyway. 3) You will find more people more like yourself where you chose to live/learn/work. 4) In reality friendships are a lot of work. You should be working first on yourself. Get to know who you truly are (Self Discovery). There is no single answer for this/you here. 5) True friendships that last more than a few years are RARE. people change a lot throughout their lives. Finding those friends is hard and keeping them is harder. Best to use that energy on True relationships with real friends, not the facade that is Secondary/High School.

Maybe all those new students are old friends of current students and their parents went to school together or something.

Marcella1016 31

This is going to sound 100% assholish, but...it’s probably you. To clarify, I went through this for years. I’ll describe what it was like for me and how I fixed it in case this is the case for you, too. Basically, I had no idea how to be “cool” and “social,” and I didn’t understand how some people just made everyone else gravitate toward them. I generally was pretty awkward and extremely unconfident—and classmates smelled it on me. For kids and young adults, they smell it as “weakness” and respond accordingly - and unkindly. How did I fix it? I eventually learned to fake confidence and learn “how to be” around people. After awhile, I realized it was no longer fake, and it actually became extremely easy to socialize. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen until my 30s - and teen me would be SHOCKED to see me today lol. And to be honest it can definitely be exhausting to do it - because it is a learned behavior, there’s constant wheels turning in the brain processing the “right thing to say” or do or interpret in any given moment. It’s now a habit, but it’s work. As others mentioned, with the way things are for now, you may find yourself with quality friends over quantity. Speaking for myself, it feels like the opposite—I always had difficulty keeping friends and I have 0 consistent relationships with anyone from my school days. And I was the awkward kid. Yet I see that many of the more outgoing kids are still very tight with their old schoolmates today, years and years later. I guess YMMV, but that was my experience. My suggestion is don’t be too hard on yourself, and try faking confidence for a bit and see what happens. When you feel those embarrassing, foot in mouth, “OH GOD WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!” moments, let it go and move on (because resentment can be felt and doesn’t attract people either). And work on yourself - no one is perfect, and it took a long time for me to realize that about myself as well. Before you know it, you’ll find a friend group that fits you :) TL;DR: Fake it till you make it. Pretend you’re cool and outgoing, and one day you’ll wake up and be like “Oh shit I’m cool and outgoing!” It’s ******* crazy but it works! Good luck, from a former outcast.

It's "uncool" to befriend the teacher, so that's probably one reason they're acting that way.