Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML
Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML
Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant that I always go to, and one of the cute waiters gave me a discount. My mother called me a whore in the middle of the restaurant, then slapped me when I cried. FML
Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML
Today, I was at a coffee shop with my boyfriend when we got into a little argument. I was trying to keep it calm and quiet, but my boyfriend yelled, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THIS TO ME!" The entire coffee shop went silent. Then, an old lady yelled, “Finally, someone said it!” FML
Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML
Today, I saw the guy I met on Tinder and went out with, only to be told “I’m not ready for a relationship, let’s just be friends” out on a date kissing another girl. I interrupted the date to rip him a new one for lying to me, only to be escorted out by the restaurant manager. FML
Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
That asshole needs to switch to decaf. And get his eyes checked. Either that or you're a two-timing *****.
eddeeezzyy 19
Hey! She's a nice lady!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
breakinlegs 19
damn all them 14 year olds looking like 22 years this days! but really op that sucks.
diiiinkleberg 13
from all the damn artificial hormones in our meat and dairy
Chumbowamba 10
And caking on make up and wearing clothes def not for their age
Jiplo 18
I really hope that you are okay! Coffee can leave third degree burns!
Treveyon56 14
I'm guessing since she didn't mentioned anything about it being hot or her have to go to the hospital the coffee was most likely cold.
toneeangel 22
Srry op that sucks. Best u can do is call the cops because technically he assaulted a minor
jw90 18
Delusional is he?
vipirius 18
Yoda, are you?
PandaBearXOXO 9
haha thats funny, but i hope your ok.
Lil_Red777 21
You're*
kimee21_fml 15
Im just hoping that the coffee wasnt hot :( seriously people are crazy nowadays!
RonnieG 10
if you're crazy and you know it, shake your meds!
Treveyon56 14
A wise man once said if you know you're crazy then you're not truly crazy.
stoych 19
Did you happen to notice if he had one of those stupid Bluetooth ear pieces in? That's possibly the case, he may have been talking to someone and you just happened to be in his line of wrath? Hope he didn't burn you OP.
RedPillSucks 33
Except that he threw coffee at her.
stoych 19
That's what I meant by her being in his 'line of wrath'. Should have worded it better. Either way, it's pretty mean to chuck coffee at a, (reluctant to use this word but needs must) kid.
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe he's from the future.
Twonty2 6
Interesting theory.
confusedAsFuck 34
That actually blew my mind..
DinosaurTacoTime 18
Shaking some meds over here.