By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 20:13 - Canada - Pierrefonds

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 626
You deserved it 3 529

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You didn't look far enough. The real love of your life is the buffet across the room. Send me an invitation to the wedding.


featherygoose 9

He better find love soon cause YOLO.

Dear mods, If the idiot above (feathergoosewhatever)will continue to stain the comments section with his shit, then at least make a fool out of him so it's entertaining for the rest of us. Sincerely, ManInTheMachine

Maybe there's a guy on the other side of the room and he'll turn around and they'll lock eyes like in the movies.

ArielTheMermaid 17

Everyone just wants someone to cuddle.......

59 - You're damn right! But for now I have to settle with my pillow. :(

No you don't understand, it was Chair! Chair has been waiting long for your love Op, it is time.

LMFAOwned 9

You called it, 1. I imagined OP having that rage face even before the comments loaded.

Well, I guess it's time to buy some cats and call it a day.

125-I am shamelessly laughing at your comment. I know it's wrong, but it feels so right.

Zee chair wants to love you long time...

After reading this FML I immediately knew this would be the 1st comment. I was right! :D

Zoh_Aubrey 8

I can't believe you're at a Chinese buffet....alone.

I got that same fortune cookie, still single

Lindahhxd 7

Maybe it means that a person is gonna be there in the future! Don't be pessimistic! :)

bigtaytay 13

Beats the hell out of mine. The last fortune I opened said "go **** yourself"

Maybe it means the old man on the table opposite?

haha it depends on the size of chair. Maybe in China many stuff have the self-meaning.

bluekid7 5
Cat_Daniels 6

If you guys aren't smart enough to realize that this was a forever alone meme then I honestly don't know what to do.

lottievaughn 5

I'VE GOTTEN THIS ONE!!! And it WAS a family member! My 6 year old step son!!! I thought it was hilarious, he sunk in his seat and said '....embarrassing.' haha!

KingxRaven 2

wow u are gorgeous. respond if ur interested in possibly meeting a new guy. im 18 single 6' and 150 lbs and not ugly i promise

You didn't look far enough. The real love of your life is the buffet across the room. Send me an invitation to the wedding.

and at least you know the buffet will always put out, even after the nuptials! that's a win! ^_^

ImmaB3AST 7

A Buffett could toss your salad any day of the week ;)

Reminds me of that Jack in the Box commercial: "You may now eat the bride"

krylonpony 3

Technically speaking, the Chinese lady that refills the tubs of Chinese food. You know that one short one that you always have to side step when you have your plate to fill and she runs into you with steaming hot containers or olden Chinese delicacy.

lilmisslovely13 15

OP did say the only thing across from her. PS doc i love your blog

Yes, because all fortune cookies should be taken seriously.

CoolRainbowdash 15

I know this is out of topic,but nice name.

Did you know Mr. KRABS lives in BIKINI BOTTOM?

Oh Eugene.. how I envy that money-finding nose of yours.

sunnyt 5

The only thing he takes seriously is money.. hehe

krylonpony 3

*mr lean approaches sad op* Aww let me play you a sad song on the worlds smallest violin.

Mr Krabs likes fortune cookies, they don't cost him a fortune, they're free!

Maybe it meant the chair. Chairs can be quite lovable.

If you don't flip the chair upside down then you won't get any love from it.

KiddNYC1O 20

Five people haven't seen Taboo.

Maybe the reference was passed over because the title wasn't capitalized? I know I would have if I didn't make a double-take.

Some of those things are a lawsuit waiting to happen. I got one once that said I was going to get in a car accident soon.

Psych101 9

"Local fortune cookie wins lawsuit over aspiring lawyer!" I don't understand how you, someone who wants to be lawyer, think you can sue a cookie.

*checks #6's location* It's okay she's from America, she can sue the cookie!

ImmaB3AST 7

And people like this is what makes us Americans look bad.

She wants to be a writer yet she can't even write on her profile properly.

Dont hate:/ comments are made so you can speak your mind, you cant tell me you always think straight, you people are so rude and selfcentered that you couldnt even feel how rude and insensitive you were being to this girl youre shattering her goals, Yeah thats right thumb me down. I dont give 2 *****.

Lionesse 15

She can be added to the infamous list of Americans who try to sue for the most moronic things ever. One lady tried to sue Disneyland because their food made her fat.. People like that need a slap in face.

Watch out, we've got a badass over here! And his name happens to be fbear. Hmm. Honestly, if you know you're not thinking straight, then don't comment. And if what's on your mind is stupid, stuff it; preferably up your ass, where your head most likely is.

That's all you're complaining about? My gender usage? Fine, here: *her Shit, I've gotten a better argument out of a vegetable.

Psych101 9

79- I hear carrots are quite compelling.

84-So you're shit at arguing because you have a life? Please, keep talking. It's very entertaining.

Instead of pursuing a useless subject , I suggest you do something that will do something in ur life :) so stop posting cuz now im not gonna reply .:)

71, you are right in saying comments are for speaking your mind, so if I don't like a comment, why should I water things down? If I make fun of someone, I am honestly speaking my mind. If I call someone a dumb ass, that is what is on my mind. Is it rude? Sure. Is it insensitive? Yeah. I still have every right to say that though, and don't tell me otherwise. If she can't handle other's opinions, it is on her to defend herself, or get over it.

Groaty12 0

I'm the one pursuing a useless subject? Shall I remind you that you're replying to my comments too? But I guess trying to get the last word in counts as "doing something that will do something (whatever the **** that means) in my life." Night night troll. Nice chatting with you.

Slender_Man 6

54- hey! I'm from America and I'm not THAT stupid. It's probably cause I'm half Italian.

It's sad to say that we both come from Canada... I'm ashamed that our country can produce losers like you...

Do something that will do something..fer cryin out loud It is what it is :p

Zoh_Aubrey 8

I love being an American, but I'm not going to lie, we have more idiots than pebbles.

I have never seen someone who is as 13 years old as fbear is. You are the embodiment of everything I hate.

I think she meant sue the company that makes the fortune cookie. Also stories of Americans frivolously suing the shit out of businesses are usually a) total bullshit or b)half truths with information left out. There was an article about it on Cracked.

Psych101 9

194- Even if she did mean sue the company, which I'm sure she did, then it was still a stupid suggestion. If I walk up to you and yell you that you're going to get into a car crash, are you going to sue me? No way. Because, like the fortune cookie, I didn't actually do anything.

Ancient Chinese secret says you're going to be flying solo forever.

winnerme123 8

Sometimes that isn't a bad thing.

I had that once. My brother was sitting opposite me. We laughed at how weird it was, I ate the cookie and resumed talking about movies.

JOcoco 14

That happened to me too. Except it was my sister and instead of proceeding to talk about movies, she winked and whispered 'I love you'...

Too bad that ending "in bed" to the end of this one doesn't make for a funny conciliatory prize.

Neither does the ending "in your pants", unfortunately.

*adding. I checked for typos, too. Dangit.

"You will have a very successful career" - in bed