Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML
Today, the only girl I've ever had eyes for said she can't find any good single men, all while sitting next to me. FML
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML
Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML
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Top comments
MissEmma_fml 22
Forever alone.
DocBastard 40
You didn't look far enough. The real love of your life is the buffet across the room. Send me an invitation to the wedding.
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Comments (233)
jroxursox1 10
Forever alone.
AznSamoan52 10
Chairs need love too........
quontag 15
When you read it your hand was right across from you.
lexiieeex3 32
Me.
tisvana20 6
Okay, stupid question that needs to be asked; where did you find a fortune cookie with a real fortune? Every time I get one it's always "be a better person," "try hard." or "You are always on our minds." You get the magical cookie and you're upset because your true love always has some wood for you? At least you're not being stalked by the Fortune Cookie gods.
govan1107 1
You better get that chair before some one else does
88vivera 9
Oh that's funny!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Was the chair pretty? ;-)
spiritgal102 2
*pewdiepie voice* MR.CHAIR!!
isamisis 9
Fortune cookies are figurative. Don't feel too bad.