Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, while I was getting ready for the day, my 5-year-old daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, maybe you should do some gymnastics today. Your legs look bigger." FML
Today, while at a family gathering, I sat down in a chair and it broke. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and sat down in another chair. That one broke too. I'm now the "fat girl" of the family despite weighing 90 pounds. FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
Today, my grade school son's teacher came over for a conference. When she sat on our one seater sofa, the upholstery broke, causing her to sink deeper back. My son desperately tried to pull her up and out, while saying to her, "Teacher, NO!!! You have to have a butt as big as my mom's to safely sit in THAT chair!" FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, I was watching my 7 year-old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her, "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied, "Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
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Top comments
bella_nana347 23
If you fits, you sits.
suosi 21
Least ur daughters honest
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Comments (30)
MidnaLink 35
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I get that kids are unable to lie so easily, but I hope you spanked her for saying such a rude thing.
fakedsincerity 32
Ah yes, hit your child for being honest. You sound like you'd make a stellar parent.....
whysobeachy 37
In my opinion, it wasn't even very rude. It was just honest.
ssnow_fml 20
I'm all for spanking your kids, but this is not a spankable offense. The kid called it as they saw it.
misspanda_fml 7
That's not something deserving of a spanking. She just needs to be taught that it's not nice to call people fat.
EwahWeeWah 21
People like you are so lazy, you can never be bothered to explain to them why something is wrong more than once so you just spank them. Just learn to talk to your child you lazy shit.
olleekenberg 20
MidnaLink or #1 or whatever is probably just a troll that wanted to get some attention.
MidnaLink 35
Trust me when I say, If I were I'd be doing this A LOT.
Idiot_Penguini 7
What if it wasn't honest? Would you still hit her?
MidnaLink 35
It's not about honesty for **** sake. It's about the fact that she's basically rude as hell and smiled while saying it. I don't need to explain myself to you people.
404wan 19
She's 5, she probably smiled because she had no ill intentions and didnt know she said something hurtful. If your response to that is violence you need some therapy man.
chinaski7628 32
I don't know why you think kids can't lie easily. I've spent 17 years working with children between the ages of 1 and 19 and they have all lied extensively and easily (well, the ones that could talk). They lie. A lot. They just don't lie well.
suosi 21
Least ur daughters honest
gatorclay97 28
That must be a poorly made chair...
bella_nana347 23
If you fits, you sits.
antwhite1987 15
Unfortunately I didn't fits so I couldn't sits. Lol
tipsyone 22
Well listen to your daughter! Stop feeling sorry that she said the truth! Do something about it instead
Attacksloth 33
Your wife must like big butts, and she cannot lie.
setenta_e_quatro 8
Is she lying?
antwhite1987 15
Nah she's not lying. Just being brutally honest as only little kids can be.
antwhite1987 15
Hey everyone, OP here. In answer to your question, no she isn't lying. I am of a fairly large stature. I'm 6'6" and 300lbs+, and the chair wasn't made for someone my size. It belongs to my parents and they're significantly smaller than me. I also did not spank her. While I'm not against well deserved spankings, all I did here was tell her that that wasn't a nice thing to say, especially to me lol. Shes 5, and has yet to develop a filter, so I'm just rolling with the punches so to speak, and trying to teach her the best I can.
torrilupo 14
I know she's just a kid, but she's right. You might want to look into shedding some weight so you can be around for her longer. I'm not trying to be mean here, but it's true.
Steve97 32
Or maybe take it as a sign to get healthier OP?
Dale_shackleford 13
If op is pretty muscular, 300 lbs at 6'6 is possible to be healthy. My freshman gym teacher was super healthy and he was about 6'8 and 300ish.
5_anonymous_5 3
Really tall with a big body - sounds hot;-) no disrespect at all, take it as a compliment - some big guys look really good with some extra pounds
ImagineCrazy 27
So.... Did it break?