Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
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Top comments
BrookieAnn 19
That's going to be an awkward one to explain to her next boyfriend....run forest run!
mbusey 20
Good thing you can still break up with her.
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Comments (156)
Zebediabolical 45
This is why I give all my girlfriends the same nickname. So when they see the tattoo they'll think it's there for them. j/k You're hosed, bro.
kentuckyguy 4
Did you ever wake up at night to see her sitting on the bed,rocking back and forth holding a knife saying "we'll be together forever" over and over?If so,might I suggest a Louisville slugger,or a hickory ax handle.
ViviMage 40
Don't worry. She can spend thousands of dollars on at least 7 laser treatments! It won't be that noticeable to someone that never knew it was there to begin with, but won't remove 100% of it!
kiswani_anas 4
Jump the border...
idancewithllamas 12
How could you be stuck?? There's always the option of breaking up with her so do it lol.
pnutbutternjelly 15
Well that's her problem, not yours.
aardvarkish 17
Well, I got Megan Fox's name tattooed on my chest and sent her a picture. Never heard back...
Kalnus 14
Hey, this sounds like my psycho ex from high school. After dating for only a week, she took a steak knife and engraved my name on her arm. Trust me, the psycho needs to go.
lightburns 10
No way! Someone from my school took a steak knife and engraved the name of her best friend's boyfriend on her arm. If I remember rightly, he ended up sleeping with the steak-knife girl's mother.
RoseBlack123 37
One word: run.
eaglerob 20
Run, Forrest, run!