Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML
Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
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Top comments
BrookieAnn 19
That's going to be an awkward one to explain to her next boyfriend....run forest run!
mbusey 20
Good thing you can still break up with her.
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Comments (156)
grizzlegrazzle 2
Is her name Jodi arias?
cl4ptp 18
That's grim. Did you still break up?
galt 13
You're ******.
Pstraka6 20
You need to cut off all strings. Someone who is that attached does not make for a healthy relationship
simoncat 11
Gross. Carefully and methodically, find a new city in which to live, slowly establish a residence, finding employment nearby. Nonchalantly contact the court system about a confidential name change, then run-like-hell-away-from-tattooed-Betty-dye-your-hair-and-speak-with-an-accent-until-your-plastic-surgeon-can-change-your-face. Go! Now!
simoncat 11
You don't own a bunny, do you?
SWeatHeart11_fml 7
That's creepy, dump her.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Put it like this, no one gave the needle to her and told her to do it. What I'm saying is she should have gotten your input for the tattoo beforehand. Like my dad always tells me "the only persons name you should get tattooed on you is your mom's because she will always be there."
Angelastic_fml 18
Wow, that's a weird way for your dad to tell you he's disowning you.
journeytotheend 16
Only names you should get tattooed is either kids or names as a memorial
cieloalicia 16
I have my dad on my arm :) But yes, only family should be tattooed
Obey_StudBoii 23
#62 Where the **** did you get that from? Get your crap together ********.
Angelastic_fml 18
Hmm, I don't normally help people who insult me for no reason, but I'm feeling charitable today, so in case you still haven't worked it out, by saying your mom is the only one who will always be there, he's implying that he won't be.
journeytotheend 16
Sucks to be her
seriouscat 11
She's a keeper.