Today, I was watching anime in my room when my mom walked in... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/9/2018 09:00 - United States - Bellerose

Today, I was watching anime in my room when my mom walked in with fresh laundry. It would've been fine at literally any other moment, but the scene on at the time involved girls groping each other in a hot spring. Now she's accusing me of being in cartoon porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2125

You deserved it

799

Tweet

Share

Boom, headshot

NRA fanboy

Lockdown is driving us down

By mathhhh - 26/2/2010 17:57 - United States

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10031

You deserved it

38275

Tweet

Share

By thesixth - 1/3/2016 19:07 - Kenya

Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19272

You deserved it

1844

Tweet

Share

By freakingow - 14/2/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28882

You deserved it

6819

Tweet

Share

By hakuna_matata - 31/12/2016 02:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her that I'd never watched The Lion King. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21022

You deserved it

8891

Tweet

Share

By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46972

You deserved it

7209

Tweet

Share

By NoMeatFail - 27/2/2011 00:59 - Canada

Today, I was eating Campbell's vegetable soup. Halfway through, I started to read the ingredients and found beef broth. I have been a vegetarian for seven years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16889

You deserved it

55094

Tweet

Share

By Girl With a Cold - 8/2/2012 18:46

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23706

You deserved it

2668

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/1/2013 00:46 - United Kingdom

Today, after a very heartfelt conversation with my mother, I promised her that I'd quit smoking. I walked in on her smoking my cigarettes an hour later. Her excuse was that she didn't want my money to have gone to waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30047

You deserved it

4008

Tweet

Share

By methane overload - 19/1/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40103

You deserved it

3803

Tweet

Share

By - 2/2/2020 18:00

Don't worry dad

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2981

You deserved it

443

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/2/2011 15:08 - Australia

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32227

You deserved it

5028

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 04:12 - Australia

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31462

You deserved it

3846

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/5/2013 11:13 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34730

You deserved it

24858

Tweet

Share

By haaaye - 22/10/2019 02:00 - United States

Sounds cosy

Today, my Twitter got hacked, and I can't get it back. Everyone now thinks I live in a trailer and have multiple STDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1427

You deserved it

208

Tweet

Share

By maxthndr - 10/2/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

323312

You deserved it

38756

Tweet

Share

By wetandpantsless - 4/10/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I got invited to a big upperclassmen party that underclassmen don't normally get invited to. I was feeling really good when I got there and saw that the girl I'm in love with was there. They stole my pants and gave me a swirly. Her reaction was to post pictures on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38428

You deserved it

6075

Tweet

Share

By jacey chreyest - 14/2/2014 21:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53576

You deserved it

4978

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/10/2014 21:51 - United States - Lemont

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39559

You deserved it

24212

Tweet

Share

By sadcapri96 - 23/6/2011 21:40 - United States

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25470

You deserved it

47187

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/9/2010 20:04 - United States

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10593

You deserved it

43965

Tweet

Share

By AwwChute - 21/2/2010 01:53 - United States

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11982

You deserved it

32624

Tweet

Share

By Jack - 30/11/2010 08:48

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34682

You deserved it

3669

Tweet

Share

By titsmcgee - 11/2/2015 21:51 - United States - Oak Brook

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37069

You deserved it

7020

Tweet

Share

By novaguy - 24/2/2015 16:15 - United States

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28647

You deserved it

2522

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/4/2014 00:14 - United States - Wrightsville

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

45757

You deserved it

8847

Tweet

Share

By swimfaned - 9/1/2015 11:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she's afraid of my ex-wife. This is the third one in a row to use that very reason. The judge still won't accept my pleas for a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38097

You deserved it

2681

Tweet

Share

By banana - 26/2/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16857

You deserved it

74282

Tweet

Share

By hihipanda - 30/8/2009 12:58 - Singapore

Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41405

You deserved it

3304

Tweet

Share

By linzl00 - 6/12/2013 12:21 - United States - Springfield

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39043

You deserved it

3624

Tweet

Share

By dad - 3/3/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34253

You deserved it

82930

Tweet

Share

By Why Me? - 31/1/2013 09:07 - United States - Scranton

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29427

You deserved it

5245

Tweet

Share

By caliibbyy - 29/11/2010 05:03

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27985

You deserved it

7209

Tweet

Share

By ChloeisaDoll - 21/7/2019 06:01

Today, I was told I have a brother… By a stranger in a parking lot, while leaving my grandfather's wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1794

You deserved it

96

Tweet

Share

By uni life - 15/5/2012 08:08 - Australia - Perth

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31037

You deserved it

2822

Tweet

Share

By LilyL - 6/6/2010 21:53 - United States

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36998

You deserved it

5704

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/8/2012 02:05 - United States - La Grange

Horndog

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30575

You deserved it

5595

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 21:02 - United States

Today, my family and I went over to our new neighbors' house, to sing a carol and say hello. The only response we got was a door slammed in our faces. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13453

You deserved it

31858

Tweet

Share

By That'sMyBoy - 28/5/2017 00:00 - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, I put glue traps around my home to catch spiders. So far, the only thing dumb enough to get caught in one is my 10-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3874

You deserved it

702

Tweet

Share

By healey16 - 3/4/2009 18:13 - Canada

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25629

You deserved it

78682

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 13:16 - United States

Today, I spent two hours driving all over town looking for a store that sold pumpkins. When I finally found some, I was charged ten dollars per pumpkin. Later, I went to my town's annual Halloween festival and discovered they were giving pumpkins away for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27958

You deserved it

9081

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Zekfen | 17

#7693418 - Friday 14 September 2018 15:26

Was this before or after you asked your girlfriend to dress up as a loli?

By mike3775 | 32

#7693403 - Friday 14 September 2018 15:05

Easy solution is to do your own laundry

COMMENTS

By mike3775 | 32

#7693403 - Friday 14 September 2018 15:05

Easy solution is to do your own laundry

Reply

raven_of_azarath | 32

#7693588 - Friday 14 September 2018 21:32

I do my own laundry, but sometimes my mom will take it out of the dryer and fold it for me, just as I do for her. It’s called being considerate.

Reply

chosha_fml | 25

#7693679 - Saturday 15 September 2018 2:34

Hopefully your mother is also considerate enough to knock.

Reply

mike3775 | 32

#7693878 - Saturday 15 September 2018 15:32

When my kids leave their stuff in the dryer, I fold it and leave it in the utility room. If I do take it to their rooms, and the door is shut, I always knock first and wait for a response.

By Zekfen | 17

#7693418 - Friday 14 September 2018 15:26

Was this before or after you asked your girlfriend to dress up as a loli?

Reply

pjsr | 32

#7693421 - Friday 14 September 2018 15:43

C’mon, you know he doesn’t have a girlfriend.

Reply

chosha_fml | 25

#7693680 - Saturday 15 September 2018 2:35

He’s referring to the other FML.

By pjsr | 32

#7693424 - Friday 14 September 2018 15:46

Sorry son, but the boner don’t lie.

By NostalgiaFreak9 | 40

#7693426 - Friday 14 September 2018 15:48

I'm only pressing YDI for not telling us what anime you were watching.

By yarani | 26

#7693448 - Friday 14 September 2018 16:47

Which, let's face it, you likely are.

By Abbusser | 9

#7693473 - Friday 14 September 2018 17:44

I thought Anime pretty much WAS cartoon porn...

Reply

lexos | 16

#7693528 - Friday 14 September 2018 20:06

That's hentai, shows like Pokémon are also anime.

Reply

raven_of_azarath | 32

#7693591 - Friday 14 September 2018 21:33

And, while it’s not technically anime, the original Teen Titans was influenced by anime.

By weaboo | 12

#7693491 - Friday 14 September 2018 18:55

I fell you bro

By Katrina Ashton | 2

#7693516 - Friday 14 September 2018 19:49

Maybe do your OWN “fresh laundry” instead of your mommy doing it.

Reply

raven_of_azarath | 32

#7693594 - Friday 14 September 2018 21:34

Or OP’s mom was being nice and finishing it so she could do hers? My mom and I will do each other’s laundry occasionally because it’s the nice thing to do.

By melisssa87 | 30

#7693546 - Friday 14 September 2018 20:30

Well did you like like the groping scene?

By DraftHail614 | 17

#7693614 - Friday 14 September 2018 22:09

Pft. Weeb.