Love: Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 167

You deserved it 64 328

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Same thing different taste

By 117halo12345 - 17/12/2015 21:37 - United States - Sedgewickville

Today, I was showing my 4 year old some of my fire magic tricks. I ended up getting 2nd degree burns on my left hand and burnt off half of her hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 280

You deserved it 21 717

By blck - 01/01/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 672

You deserved it 3 928

By failure as a parent - 11/05/2013 21:19 - United States - Bound Brook

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 417

You deserved it 6 287

By CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 812

You deserved it 29 349

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 284

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 433

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 441

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 514

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 189

You deserved it 8 408

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 148

You deserved it 5 775

Next

Top comments

pianoman05st 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:00

you don't do a trick like this inside a house glad she's pressing charges

menother 2

Wednesday 9 June 2010 11:58

This is why you don't learn FIRE tricks from videos online that could easily be doctored. Although you probably need one now. Doesn't it take YEARS of practice for someone to learn this kind of trick in the real world?

Comments

glitterypink 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 16:02

you dumb shit..... serves you right

nizzy09 3

Wednesday 9 June 2010 16:06

why are some people sooo dumb?????

stewpididiot 11

Wednesday 9 June 2010 16:25

Pressing charges?? For what ?? Did he intend to set her room on fire ?? There's no law against being stewpid, is there?? anyway OP you are an idiot and your girlfriend(ex-girlfriend) is a **** . You SO un-deserve each other !

aback 4

Wednesday 9 June 2010 16:44

That's why she's pressing charges for damages, because there's no law against stupidity.

xxjimmyboixx 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 16:47

not a cool trick now huh?

nerdsgetmehot 22

Wednesday 9 June 2010 16:59

You deserve it for doing a fire-breathing trick INSIDE and probably amongst flammable objects.

Bobissmall 13

Wednesday 9 June 2010 17:06

Fire+internet=YDI

someone234 5

Wednesday 9 June 2010 17:21

lol you really are an idiot.

bittersweet1 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 17:45

atleast you didn't set yourself I fire

JokeMeister 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 17:51

ONLINE?! What kind of moron are you?

canzo378 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 17:58

hope you goto jail and suffer for being so stupid

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The Top

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 563

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 1 761

The Top

Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 200

You deserved it 2 419

Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 113

You deserved it 6 047

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 413

You deserved it 4 650

Today, I realised that my flight back from Berlin was actually booked for the 29th of September instead of August. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 508

You deserved it 27 141

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me with more guys than I can count on one hand. I'm not sure what's worse, realizing this only after she's moved in, realizing two of the guys were my close friends, or realizing I'd given up my dream career for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 035

You deserved it 314

Today, as I was crossing a street, a car hit me and broke two of my ribs. The driver was too busy paying attention to his girlfriend who was giving him a blowjob from the passenger seat. I could see the look of ecstasy on his face as he rammed into me and drove off without noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 090

You deserved it 1 023