Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML
Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change. Being a good man, I said sure. I gave him the change and he gave me the $50 bill. After walking into Starbucks to buy a coffee, I handed the cashier my $50 bill. She called the cops. It was counterfeit. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man struggling to make it across a busy street. I jumped up from my table at Starbucks to help him, leaving my things behind. When I got back to my table feeling good, I found that my coffee had disappeared. So had my wallet. FML
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
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Top comments
itsnotfair 0
you're not obliged to give your money to a bum anyway!
Outpail 1
Haha. This happened to me once, just keep on walking and drop a couple of quarters to keep him occupied while you make an escape.
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Comments (477)
tenebrus 0
Here's my advice for people bumming for money: It's a lot like going into sales - you're just not going to complete the transactions 100% of the time (and you're simply not entitled to 100% success whether it happens or not); oh, and, some of those times, the other half of the deal is just going to outright lie about why the transaction isn't going to complete. You need to know that that's the way it's going to be. Now, with that in mind, let's talk about optimal strategies: be pleasant, cultivate the word of mouth customer base, find a compromise that works for both parties involved, and most importantly, have integrity (if you're asking for money for food, spend the money on food - if you want street dope, ask for money for street dope). Following a person around while yelling and screaming at them, making them feel bad for not being tricked or bullied, is not only a compromise-fail; it is pretty quickly called harassment** and it's against the law. Cross that line with me, and I suddenly feel justified in defending myself come what may. So yeah, jebus, this is a FML situation. You didn't deserve that. ** psst: #301. Wrong.
blalien 0
I agree with #21. Just give him some food or something. You can't trade food for crack, right?
shaPOW 0
I guess it didn't occur to him that a) you didn't have any more money than what you were about to spend, b) you paid with credit card and actually didn't have cash for him, or... (get this) c) he doesn't have the right to take money from whoever walks past him, even if they do have money! At least all he did was yell, and he didn't beat you up or anything. Glad you're ok.
thuryn 2
#301: Ummm... you are #301. Who did you mean? I think that a lot of the people complaining that the OP "should just give the guy a dollar" have never dealt much with bums in real life.
GeekFairy 0
If his legs work well enough to follow you, then he's perfectly capable of getting a job.
poliphila 0
Maybe he should get a JOB instead of thinking he's so entitled to other people's money that it's ok for him to antagonize them if they don't fork it over. Unbelievable!
elfuzzo 0
It's not your job to feed every deadbeat drain on society who asks for change. FYL.
Csnyd2008 0
agree with 306 , **** that guy, and I am tired of hearing the whole "woe is me, Im homeless, its not their fault" It sure god damn is
dotVillain 1
Oh, since you drink from a chain coffee shop you definitely deserved it. You could have just made it at home in your own little crappy coffee maker and it ended up tasting like shit. But that would have been okay, since you're not contributing to the economy. Christ, people on here are idiots. That sucks man, bums are annoying as hell now-days. Best you can do is ignore them or bluntly tell them to **** off.
bty245 0
**** him , not ur fault hes homeless