Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were "bored". FML
Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML
Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I was shut in a boiling hot room with six children: a ten year-old who kept shouting; a belligerent seven year-old; two five year-olds who thought hitting me was funny, and two two year-olds who wouldn't stop crying. Their parents were just outside, laughing away, ignoring me. FML
Today, it's the third time in a row that I've woken myself up in the middle of the night by pouring freezing cold water on myself. I didn’t even have water on my nightstand last night. I woke up in the kitchen. FML
Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially, "Kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML
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Top comments
MathewBlack 14
Next step, fire.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
They wouldn't live to see Halloween if it were me.
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Comments (126)
mikepzz 27
well, if you weren't such a bitch your kids might not hate you
trippythehippy 6
They were not calling you a witch, they simply felt that you hadn't been the same since that house fell on your sister! Downvote me. I thought it was funny.
gmc_blossom 21
Your wish is my command.
rattusrattus 19
Maybe you should tone down your fondness for green makeup a little.
xKites 4
What the media does to kids...
88vivera 9
Lol that's sooo funny
Bludmagnus 13
Now anyone get that making "victims" out of the villains makes some kids think anything they don't like is okay to classify as wrong???
sugoine 12
Time to get your flying monkeys...
greeneyebeauty9 28
I think your kids watch a little too much television..
EpicBlondie89 19
For watching one movie? One movie isn't too much television. My kids rarely watch tv but can quote "Toy Story" word for word.
traveler_ghost 12
I'm melting! I'm melting! *screams*
8IamChris8 4
When I was 5, I was shit scared of witches. Everytime I entered a dark room, my imaginary friend had to go in first to see if its clear haha