Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, my old highschool math teacher called me, asking me to please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she's drunk, and declares her eternal love to him. FML
Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
Today my best friend called me at 6 a.m., ranting and accusing me of sleeping with her husband. I live two hours away and haven't seen him in person in over six months. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, my husband refuses to stop answering my phone calls with, "Haaaaail Satan!" FML
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Top comments
alexwow1 13
You have hilarious friends man
Ashgeliton 7
Um how exactly was that supposed to cure your loneliness??
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Comments (85)
slooby_fml 25
Twisted sense of humor. Dress up in a scream mask and terrorize him and see how he likes it
jonmansheppard 9
Maybe he does like it.
mackdeezy 22
Least he cares?
Blackcatluck 19
No he scares
russianboss123 17
Your friend sir deserves a trophy.
Wizardo 34
Exactly and that's why he thought Beelzebub should keep you company...
chocolatefrog28 29
He was thoughtful enough to stick to a routine, getting in touch with you. That has to count for something.
CoGhostRider 31
Just get off fml and plan your revenge. Sounds like a harmless prank to me. A little extreme sure but harmless
klutchh4 9
Do something back
HowieDoIt 21
He just wanted to be the bub in Beelzebub.
olpally 33
Stupidest prank ever. How lame is his life that he has to creepily prank call you and thinks you're alone a lot?? Lol, loser. Get a new best friend.
DreamStatic 8
Your friend has way too much time on their hands