Miscellaneous: Today, my husband refuses to stop answering my phone calls with,... - FML

By NotSatan - 19/04/2017 14:00

Today, my husband refuses to stop answering my phone calls with, "Haaaaail Satan!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 066

You deserved it 612

Miscellaneous

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Same thing different taste

By grubbieduc - 06/10/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 565

You deserved it 2 776

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

By Gloria Lovestar - 13/09/2019 20:00

Today, my husband explained that talking to me makes him miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 617

You deserved it 193

By newbffswelcome - 04/08/2013 18:07 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 826

You deserved it 4 664

By thedancingtit - 07/06/2016 05:11 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 046

You deserved it 2 343

Mr Mad

By Sorry Sir - 12/07/2023 11:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband got angry at me, only because I addressed him by his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 160

By Satan - 15/03/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 403

You deserved it 9 176

Cancel the wedding

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 14:00

Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 599

By Fwick - 19/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 440

You deserved it 5 021

Go on, why?

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 04:00

Today, my husband ended an argument with, "Do you want to know why people don't like being around you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 403

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 741

You deserved it 5 895

Next

Top comments

Master Buck 8

Wednesday 19 April 2017 14:07

Hail Hydra !

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 19 April 2017 14:58

This is actually pretty funny IMO.

Comments

Master Buck 8

Wednesday 19 April 2017 14:07

Hail Hydra !

asm0dea 29

Wednesday 19 April 2017 16:07

We shall never be destroyed!

laowang 13

Wednesday 19 April 2017 14:11

Today,4/19.for one night……he is busy now,please try again tomorrw

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 19 April 2017 14:58

This is actually pretty funny IMO.

Beastninja5268 15

Wednesday 19 April 2017 16:34

Tell your husband that I appreciate his work... but that sounds like something I would do. I'm not a Satanist, but people call me Satan at school so...

Regulate 21

Wednesday 19 April 2017 17:04

That's......odd.

misanthropic_one 3

Thursday 20 April 2017 1:25

Is he a fan of Ghost? If so, reply "welcome year zero".

RinoaHeartilly 36

Thursday 20 April 2017 2:17

I'd only be worried if you get pregnant soon.

darkshadus 10

Thursday 20 April 2017 13:56

Your name wouldn't have to be Rosemary? (Obscure movie reference)

Cali 54

Thursday 20 April 2017 14:13

Meanwhile, your husband can't figure out why people are so scared of his favorite vegan meat substitute.

lilbillXD 16

Thursday 20 April 2017 17:36

He's a keeper.

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 9 686

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I agree, your life sucks 45 060

You deserved it 4 181