Drunk, Annoying, Coworkers and Miscellaneous: Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious,... - FML

By grubbieduc - 06/10/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 574

You deserved it 2 780

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 757

You deserved it 5 900

By badwife - 07/11/2009 10:22 - Japan

Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 391

You deserved it 17 366

Freakout

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 236

You deserved it 2 839

By Emily - 21/09/2012 01:39 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 168

You deserved it 2 020

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 04:08 - United States - Bloomdale

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 776

You deserved it 4 403

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 151

You deserved it 6 428

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 233

You deserved it 4 591

By Nykole McAllister - 15/09/2018 17:30 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 110

You deserved it 282

By nolife - 05/11/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 397

You deserved it 2 977

A nickname that sticks

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 873

You deserved it 10 532

Next

Top comments

afdude87 6

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:58

put his on Craigslist in the male looking for male section and see how he likes people he doesn't know calling him.

Auron93 1

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:55

Can't just block the number? Or text him from your husbands phone tellin him to cut that shit out

Comments

jasoncshooter 7

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:52

That really sucks

cbdee 8

Thursday 6 October 2011 12:22

Great observation #1! :/

swimchica22 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 13:04

Or at least you think he's drunk...O.o

DKParth13 5

Thursday 6 October 2011 13:11

Now it's your turn to give his number to someone else ..preferably a gay hotline saying he is interested!

yoursucklives 36

Thursday 6 October 2011 13:24

why would your husband give your phonenumber to one of his friends anyway!?

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

Thursday 6 October 2011 16:55

I agree with 39. Put an ad out on craig's list "Male seeking male companionship, no strings attached. Clean with papers, looking for a good time pitching, catching, watching, whatever."

crudeandrudeguy 29

Saturday 1 August 2015 17:27

Have sex with his friend and he won't do that again

yeezheng 6

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:52

Switch off your handphone ? Change number?

DKParth13 5

Thursday 6 October 2011 13:13

First why would change your phone and second he can get your number again!!!

Nosrebor 8

Thursday 6 October 2011 14:22

Block his number.

brendazelada 10

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:52

Bar the number duhhhh

ulicki 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:52

Kinky.

hailphire130 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 12:10

I don't believe that works in this specific situation, my good chap.

LaughinStock 16

Thursday 6 October 2011 14:07

I had to look at this guys pic twice, thought he was Justin Bieber. 4 it's not kinky at all :-/

psycho2012 7

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:54

Just block his number

Auron93 1

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:55

Can't just block the number? Or text him from your husbands phone tellin him to cut that shit out

afdude87 6

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:58

put his on Craigslist in the male looking for male section and see how he likes people he doesn't know calling him.

MadManWithABox 14

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:59

WTF husband!? What was wrong with him? Sucks for you, OP, but yeah, like others have said, block the number...or even report him.

cbdee 8

Thursday 6 October 2011 12:24

#7 I totally agree! Why would hubby give it??

cptmorgan6 8

Thursday 6 October 2011 16:23

What a picture! Bravo my friend, bravo.

cptmorgan6 8

Thursday 6 October 2011 18:45

FML is acting up again. My comment was aimed towards 27.

JustOhSoLovely 6

Friday 7 October 2011 16:01

Your profile pic makes your comment seem even angrier #7 lol

dannyboy66 7

Thursday 6 October 2011 11:59

Well now you have someone to talk to when your bored :D

Teehee2 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 14:34

loool true dat

yadisingh 5

Thursday 6 October 2011 22:44

your bored what? ...

muchagente 5

Thursday 6 October 2011 12:04

why did he do this? he wants to get rid of you, doesn't he?

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 277

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

The Top

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 326

You deserved it 65 370

Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 515

You deserved it 3 482

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 291

You deserved it 4 452

Today, I went to my dentist's appointment with huge anxiety because I had to get a filling. Last week, I paid $120 to be told I needed this filling. This time, I paid $80 to be told my teeth are fine. Each visit lasted all of 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 269

You deserved it 916

Today, my grandpa moved into the apartment next door. The walls are wafer-thin. Goodbye sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 103

You deserved it 6 828

Today, my horse learned a new acrobatic trick. Unfortunately, I was still on top of him when he tried to somersault. The horse is fine. I'm in the hospital, fresh out of surgery for a broken femur. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 846

You deserved it 765