Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, my old highschool math teacher called me, asking me to please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she's drunk, and declares her eternal love to him. FML
Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
Today my best friend called me at 6 a.m., ranting and accusing me of sleeping with her husband. I live two hours away and haven't seen him in person in over six months. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, my husband refuses to stop answering my phone calls with, "Haaaaail Satan!" FML
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Top comments
alexwow1 13
You have hilarious friends man
Ashgeliton 7
Um how exactly was that supposed to cure your loneliness??
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Comments (85)
Jenn2021 8
Wouldn't you have automatically have assumed it was someone you knew playing a prank since they knew your home, cell, and work number?
CorpsmanUp88 21
Thats a true friend.
jecka 9
At least it was your friend and not some creepy person.
Ins0mau 20
Hey! How do you know he's not friends with some creepy person?!
Sly_Assassin 11
Seems like a pretty cool guy to me but from the quotes i take it you're no longer friends?
homeless_turtle 5
sounds like something I would & will have to do to my bff
msb0327 8
I'd say your friend is extremely bored! Maybe he needs a new hobby?!?
jamieeelynn57 8
My friends do that. It normally ends a little differently..
buckdharma 38
Can't come to the phone right now, so at the tone please leave a message, oh, and have a wonderful day! Your master is a monster Born of a yolkless egg He has dominion over animals He walks the world Entrail diviner And when the stars are right He locks the door behind the door behind the door The milky way abyss inclines The seven years of labor for the instruments of time
LissaMccracken 23
"newbffswelcome"... I'll be your bff!!!!! :0 But anyways, I don't see how that could have helped with your loneliness, people are odd.
TheCaramelKing 11
Why is does friends have quotes around it? If you seemed lonely he was just trying to help...