Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, my old highschool math teacher called me, asking me to please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she's drunk, and declares her eternal love to him. FML
Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
Today my best friend called me at 6 a.m., ranting and accusing me of sleeping with her husband. I live two hours away and haven't seen him in person in over six months. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, my husband refuses to stop answering my phone calls with, "Haaaaail Satan!" FML
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Top comments
alexwow1 13
You have hilarious friends man
Ashgeliton 7
Um how exactly was that supposed to cure your loneliness??
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Comments (85)
shadow2903 11
I need a young priest and an old priest...
HeartOfLead 24
Are you not entertained?
dontgivafuk 9
the night time is the right time.... just join the ******* cult. there's a girl you can meet there...
Bevspeaks 11
I don't know what's worse, the fact OP knew someone who can make Satanic sounding chants up, or the fact that the person somehow thought that would make OP less lonely. What's a Satanic chant supposed to do over a voicemail? Bring the OP a phone demon who messes with their phone? Or maybe suck them into the phone for all eternity along with thousands of others lonely people who had friends like OP's.
thatghostdude 9
I like your friends
JokersHQ 21
That's not creepy or anything.... Hope you're friend was just trying to prank you!
TheModernPatriot 14
Your friend is awesome
Elfkid21 19
Hey!! That's actually really awesome of your best friend to think of you when you're feeling down and just jokingly mess with you to cheer you up!! I say that's one hell of a best friend!!! lol and sounds like something my two best friends would do!! lol (yes. they are awesome like your friend sounds!! lol)
JennNoVa 8
You need a new best friend.
itsbrittanybeast 3
Gffghghyh