Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I had to shit really bad while I was in bed with my girlfriend. Luckily she was sleeping. I didn’t want to be obvious, so I closed all the doors, crept into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I accidentally let out the loudest fart. I got a text saying, “Walls are thin, you good?” FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
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Top comments
TheDrifter 24
I hate when that happens. At least when I'm doing it on purpose I can fart a catchy tune.
SkyDog 9
I thought that was "shitty situation".
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Comments (82)
rdenkewicz 11
This implies you were sitting on the toilet with your pants on...wtf?
mkayden 23
Hahahahaha that's brilliant lol
worldclassrager 41
Phone lock? That should prevent that
JuzReading 23
Well at least she couldn't smell it.
Mauskau 36
I would've laughed so hard, and probably stop listening halfway through.
captainsmegma 12
Maybe she'll make it her new ringtone.
ohishkabibble 21
Personally, I hope she sets it as her ring tone just for when he calls/texts her. Then she can embarrass him with the story of why she has farts set as a ringtone every time someone asks her about it XD
91hayek 31
This sounds like the creative process of most popular music. Try to have your girlfriend take the recording and sell it on itunes; might actually turn a profart.
ilovemesometacos 5
Dude that's funny , I guess your past the whole farting stage
TheVurcle 10
How do you butt dial someone while sitting on the toilet? Did you put the phone down on the seat, forget that you put it there then sit down? You think you would feel your phone under your butt cheeks.
candisweets 10
So how exactly did you butt dial her if your butt was fartting in a toilet bowl??