Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I had to shit really bad while I was in bed with my girlfriend. Luckily she was sleeping. I didn’t want to be obvious, so I closed all the doors, crept into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I accidentally let out the loudest fart. I got a text saying, “Walls are thin, you good?” FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
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Top comments
TheDrifter 24
I hate when that happens. At least when I'm doing it on purpose I can fart a catchy tune.
SkyDog 9
I thought that was "shitty situation".
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Comments (82)
Aliakatherin 19
She should be more impressed than grossed out, four minutes is a long time;)
zandalee 20
I know right! That's skill right there!
lxry11 4
Absolutely!
lgeezy 7
I got the acoustics updated for my toilet in case that ever happens
NannerAirCraft 3
Maybe you should put your phone in your front pocket?
EvilLittleMan 23
OP, ask Snookums to post this audio on YouTube and then update FML.
lylotrezor 20
You farted for four minutes?
RedPillSucks 33
I'm thinking it wasn't all at once.
boshbish 14
Everyone passes gas. Its not as if you farted in her face. Accident. I wouldn't say FYL though. Ive heard my boyfriend do worse and just laughed. No biggie
Martinez0285 28
Ahh the sounds of love
cwaziemamma 16
Could be worse, you could've had a fart marathon during sex
tweetypie 18
I don't understand this. Were you sitting on the toilet with your pants pulled up or was your phone attached to your ass cheeks while you sat on the toilet?
SamCat 21
i think he butt dialed her and then pulled the pants down to take a dump.
fmlrulesBolt 14
Hahahaha this is awesome brilliant