Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I had to shit really bad while I was in bed with my girlfriend. Luckily she was sleeping. I didn’t want to be obvious, so I closed all the doors, crept into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I accidentally let out the loudest fart. I got a text saying, “Walls are thin, you good?” FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
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Top comments
TheDrifter 24
I hate when that happens. At least when I'm doing it on purpose I can fart a catchy tune.
SkyDog 9
I thought that was "shitty situation".
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Comments (82)
rollindadice 6
i'm trying to put this into context,you farted for four minutes ,and she listened for that time too,she eiher very much loves you or watching your every move
robertmil90 10
oh man ... that sucks dude
iamthunder 4
If she's still with you after playing her voice mail she is a keeper!
Q_W_E_R_T_Y5555 1
leave her. no girlfriend should know what your fart sound like in a toilet bowl! 0.o
tman1985 9
Peter Griffin vs Michael Moore vs Op
Chibi_Kitten 24
Could be worse..my ex butt called me when his mother was trying to give him the 'talk'. And one time when he was taking a dump...I still can't get the plop sound out of my head.
simongren 5
If she ends up thinking it was hilarious and you decide to tie the knot - make sure she know not to make it the groom's entrance song
livelaughlovepie 22
And they say romance is dead...
kelliebrew 11
???
dillpick88 17
Sounds like a shitty situation to me.