Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML
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Top comments
KennyP55 0
Wait, you thought ******** your brains out at any point before the 6 hour mark would help you lose weight? Enough to notice? Wow, FYL indeed, because you're an idiot.
hotstuff81 0
Why the **** would you do that, its called going to the gym or eating healthy instead.
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Comments (96)
primogen18 0
YDI, you care so much about your "figure" you're taking laxatives? Why not actually DO something about it to live healthier? Did you hit up the tanning booth and salon on the way? Eat a bag of chips and box of cookies maybe throw up a little?
immumo 2
im so sorry that u r such a dumb ****.
blondebeard 0
YDI for thinking taking laxatives will help you lose any noticeable amount of weight.
onealhart54 0
your a guy. don't worry about your weight too much
kc2_fml 0
@crazy cat lady... who doesn't take pills without reading the description?
xHaniffax 0
Okay, OP you are a ******* idiot, god, I hate people like you. Laxitives are to help keep your bowel movement running smoothly, NOT to lose weight. the only way you will lose weight noticably is if you take laxitives for long periods of time this means you'll be putting it into your body when you don't NEED it, thus ******* up your bodily systems If you want to lose weight, get off your fat ass and go to gym. Thinking that you can lose weight by taking a laxitive shows how lazy you are. I hope you suffer from deyhydration but get better to remember how stupid you were.
BrightSideGuy 0
ahahaha.... that made me lol. Brilliant.
curryndricegirll 0
YDI for saying "like in the movies."
hollister7304 0
Laxing to lose weight is so bad for you. After a long time of abusing laxatives your body won't be able to function w/o them anymore. And laxing after eating gets rid of only 10% of calories, max.
andrewms 0
YDI for not reading labels