By nick - 12/05/2010 09:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 262
You deserved it 5 985

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Top comments

geordieboysgirl 0

How sweet, your mommy loves you.


candy is for little kids. pretty sure you could give up the candy...

Or have some self control and don't eat it, fatteh!

rohosoccer08 1

that's what i'm thinking 1... the diet can wait! lol FAFP!!!!

rohosoccer08 1

idk that I have will power hardly when it comes to candy, I love it too much!!!

We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0

"Sabotage"... Bloat the target.

don't eat it then! you get something and you can't keep from eating it? your fat for not having self control.

diet + exercise = weight loss. doing both is much better. run 3 miles a day and you can sneak some candy into your plan. not that tough.

IchbinSyn 0

Save a few pieces as a reward after a long work out

kaityyrose 0

not just for little kids #8.... haha but you could just have like a piece or two then throw it away

thinmint 0

running 3 miles is hardly deserving of an overprocessed piece of candy...maybe after a whole week of working out hard you could have a cheat meal.

kaityyrose 0

I think after running three miles you would deserve one piece...?

Seriously, you're from the UK, yet you say "candy"?

mona_is_here 10

see this always happens to me too haha. well make your tummy happy with the help of those candies and start the diet afterwards, so that the seduction would be gone

Today, my mother treated me to some candy, but I'm already fat so I don't want to accept her gift. FML

korn247 5

not an fml. no one told you you had to eat the candy.

Dear OP, Ever heard the phrase "If you want to look thinner, hang around people fatter than you"? use the candy on everyone around you, look insulted, and emotionally wounded if people refuse the candy. As they get larger, you'll look smaller, let me know how it works!

Dude.. it's almost august. You're just now wanting to lose weight for summer??

kellan1100 0

ha my mom did the same thing to me once

drinkinpints 0

show some restraint...give it to someone else.

I agree! Start your diet off in a positive way. It will give you a ego boost!

MamaC_fml 0

Give a little bit daily to some already hyperactive little kids, then chase them around a park, all with their parents' permissions. Its a win situation all around - the candy doesn't go to waste, you have an exercise program (you know those kids aren't going to let you skip "just this once"), parents get a break from their kids, kids get an opportunity to play instead of sitting in front of the boob tube. Just don't get a van and spraypaint "FREE CANDY" on it.

Ali_Br_fml 33

lolz @ 63!!! (~_~)/ creepy man: free candy!!! just come inside my van and get all the free candy you want... just don't tell your mommy or daddy & I'll take u somewhere fun... kid: Stranger Danger!!! *runs away* oh well, I guess you'll have 2 eat it... diet & exercise so u don't get fat, or so u can have some rock hard abs (no need 2 assume he's fat, I'm not & I like myself some candy!!! just don't overdo it.

Practice a little self-control and don't eat any.

you should give it to a homeless shelter, lol jk you'd eat the hobos fattie.

perdix 29

Eat it all at one sitting, real fast. Most of it will just pass through you.

yea, and she'll regret it when she needs to shit out hard jawbreakers and hot tamales

perdix 29

Those Everlasting Gobstoppers can sure plug up the works pretty good!

blaaaaakely 0

Drive around and give it to some kids

Make sure you do it in a non-descript van with "Free Candy" written on the side.

Don't forget an undescribable disguise, and a happy kids tune right along with your all black, tinted windows vehicle!!!

Check how much it's worth at a pawn shop

Anthony12_fml 0

u could eat it and exercise instead of dieting u lazy ****

kattylizbeth 19

Ever heard the phrase "diet AND exercise"? The only lazy f*** I see here is you, who is too darn lazy to do anything but troll. I also guarantee that you are fat, pimply, Pokèmon-obsessed, and live with your parents. So, grow up. You have a good day now, sir.

Once again spermdump, you speak the truth! Although tbh, I bet prison food does wonders for the ol' waistline, and OP'll have plenty of time to work out and bulk up! >.<