Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML
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Top comments
KennyP55 0
Wait, you thought ******** your brains out at any point before the 6 hour mark would help you lose weight? Enough to notice? Wow, FYL indeed, because you're an idiot.
hotstuff81 0
Why the **** would you do that, its called going to the gym or eating healthy instead.
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Comments (96)
Dhendi69 0
your should try working out or going on a diet dont take lax haha
randomness28 0
You SO deserved that. How can you not know that most laxatives take a couple hours for the effect to kick in. Couldn't you have at LEAST read the label? Also, you took it to lose weight? Are you kidding? It doesn't actually make you lose weight. Just clears out your intestines, colon, etc. Were you actually expecting to lose some noticeable weight in 6 hours? This isn't a Jenny Craig commercial.
baileys82 0
most you could lose is water weight. i suggest going into a sauna with a rubber suit on or running 5 miles in a rubber suit and sweat suit. worked for my brother for wrestling. then again, thats not too healthy either. either embrace your size or eat a salad.
CherishFlowers 0
That's called Bulimia. Please don't take laxatives to lose weight. =( Bulimia is really hell to go through.
peanut_dog 0
1) Reading the instructions enclosed in a package of a chemical you are about to put in your body is a good idea. 2) Taking laxatives to lose weight is unhealthy, unproductive, damaging to your digestive system and can cause IBS. All gross things.
dr_house_MD 0
wow. i smell an eating disorder
Lintriel 0
like in the iron giant! sorry man, i feel bad for you
voodootrucker 0
a good shit always makes me feel lighter
jewel_505 0
how on earth would a laxative make you lose weight? all it does is make you lose a shitload, literally, of fluid. douchebag.
GriefBacon 0
Should've got the WII FIT!!! ;) ;) Sorry for your...um....shitty accident.